The Myth of the Permissive Parent

What is a permissive parent? Someone who handles something with less involvement than we would? Someone who allows and allows? "Permissive" is so relative (based on individual measures of "shoulds"), and it is a completely subjective observation from the outside (none of us have walked a step in that parents' shoes).
I am often seen as a permissive parent, because I don't "do anything" about my 3-yr-old son hitting me when he is upset. I can only imagine what people expect me to do, but since I don't do that, I'm seen as allowing and permitting. Because my level of involvement doesn't meet their expectations of "what a good parent does", they miss what I do do. I love my son and trust that his outlet of frustration has a purpose, and I empathize with his frustration, and I tell him that hurts and that I don't want to be hurt, and I offer alternatives (like hitting a pillow or sword-fighting with foam swords we make), and I try to help him think of things that might remedy what he is frustrated about. It's very intentional and comes from a LOT of reflection and experimentation and research, but to the average bystander it looks like I'm being permissive.
I have so much trust and respect for my oldest's autonomy and sense of adventure that when she checks with me to see if she can go do something, I can't really think of a reason to say no, even if I'm not completely comfortable with it at times. All she wants is my blessing, she knows she has my permission (unless we plan to go somewhere or something, which is usually why be checks in, and so I know where she's at -- btw, she learned to do this on her own; I think I mentioned it once briefly a few years ago, but it's something she grew on her own). To an outsider, it may look permissive, but it's oh-so intentional.
If my kids are arguing, I let them sort it out and am usually pleasantly surprised with the results. An outsider might think I'm being permissive by not stepping in and sorting it out, but it is very intentional that I let my children have authentic relationships and problem solve and experience the lessons from the choices they make. One example, if my oldest does something that hurts my youngest, when I step in and do anything, she becomes defensive and it messes up the empathy she naturally feels for what she has said or done. When I step back and let them feel things through, oh, the learning that happens! From the outside, it may look permissive.
Currently, I found out I am having a problem with high blood pressure, and I've known that I have been over-stressing, being a single mama to 3 (and some so little) and feeling like I'm trying to live up to expectations that were not born from me, inspired or trust-based. So, I have decided that I need to take care of me and my health, and that is going to look a lot like me diverting my attention from things that create stress in me. From the outside, this may look permissive. It's very intentional.
So, my list could go on forever, being a radical unschooling mama :)) I think my point is made :) I don't believe there is such thing as a permissive parent, because none of us know what is going on inside that parent we may think is being permissive, and what constitutes permissiveness is most likely an intentional decision made for someone's well-being, even if it is just the trying-to-be relaxed mama.

Wow! Community :)

So, I have been really wanting more community, a tribe really, in my life. A week or so ago, I wrote it down: "I'm creating my tribe." Since I put it out so intentionally, I have had a few things come about... First of all, I recreated (and am co-creating) a virtual tribe (called Earthy Tribal Mamas) with people whom I first felt the tribe dynamic with -- CafeMom is not my favorite venue (can be a bit mainstreamish), but it is convenient for the ones I miss and love so much, so I love it! Having that space that we share is an emotional anchor in ways I can't find the words for. I feel secure, connected, plugged back in <3
Secondly, I started a local learning co-opt that got rave interest in the Earthy Tribal Mamas, so we decided to make an umbrella national group to pool creative learning ideas, and then local "tribes" all over the country (whoever wants to start one). I will share more about this, as it develops -- still in very early planning stages :))
Thirdly, my daughter expressed that one of the biggest frustrations in her life was the lack of friendship and such, and I realized that she is suffering from lack of a tribe as I am, and this helped me to find absolute and authentic sympathy and understanding for her <3 It also helped me to find out what I can do to help <3 And then the next day at park day, we had a new family join us, and the 9-yr-old daughter got along famously with Kass (they were saying they were twins) -- come to find out, they live about 10 minutes from us!
And fourthly, today we visited a homeschool park day about a mile from our house, that I just heard about a couple weeks ago, and found that a couple families from our county-wide group attend, and I was able to reconnect with a homeschool friend/family from our past!!! I cannot begin to express my joy about this park day. It has wonderful families that I enjoy, and bigger kids for my 11-yr-old (she's the oldest at our other park day), and one of my son's favorite friends. It is so close, no excuses about driving and gas :) I can see my home from up on top of that hill :)) I am just thrilled -- beautiful park, wonderful families, gobs of fun for all, couldn't get much closer to our home... *big deep sigh*
Community. I feel our tribe coming together :))

Yes, it's me!

Yes, that's me
Look and you'll see
My hair is curly, wild, and free
My eyes are brown with a hint of honey
My arms are perfect for enveloping babies
My hands are usually crafting and cleaning
My heart has never-ending love
I'm a free-livin' life-lovin' mama of three
I never turn down enjoyment in life
My friends know they can turn to me when they have strife
I live in a small city by the sea
I hope my kids know they can always turn to me
I dream of a day when we'll be living with our Tribe
It's all clear as can be.
That's positively, absolutely me

***you can make your own poem here

Perfect

So, today I wanted some music to bake and clean the kitchen to and decided on Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill" -- an album I haven't listened to in years. As soon as it started I knew I'd picked the right one. All about breaking out of boxes and finding one's way in the world. Good stuff :) Then came the song "Perfect". I suggest googling the lyrics if you haven't heard the song before. It struck me. I don't think I've listened to it since I have been a parent, and I used to be able to relate to her tone and fight, but now it has all the more meaning, as a mother and a daughter and a recovering perfectionist. The song has been haunting me all day. That's NOT what I want for my daughter, and I'm pretty sure my mom didn't want that for me, and yet that's kind of what has happened...
I have such a complicated relationship with what is "perfect". I see "perfect" in things that are "flawless" and also in natural flaws -- like my life is perfect in all it's messy and wild and exciting and loving and and and ways :)
Alanis finishes the song with, "I'll love you, just the way you are, if you're perfect", and she says earlier "I'll make you what I never was, because if you're the best then maybe so am I".
I used to think about self-esteem and self confidence, and I couldn't figure out why I had such a problem with them when I had all of these things that I felt good about: I was an A student, going to school full time and working full time, had a beautiful delightful brilliant daughter, had my own apartment that felt beautiful to me.... It was all the "good" things I was proud of that I was focusing on. But what about when I didn't get an A in a class? What about when I worked less hours and spent time doing "unproductive" things? What about when my daughter acted in ways that embarrassed me or when she showed signs of vulnerability because of our lifestyle? What about when my apartment was a mess or I couldn't maintain certain aspects of it? How did these things leave me feeling? Worthless. And like I was the "nothing" I was afraid to be.
As I sit here and feel better (as in better skilled, not like "all better"), I am feeling this worthlessness inside me, and I feel it being the root of a lot of my social anxieties and my life decisions: I don't want to be that "someone" who I feel like I am on the inside, so I try to do things the "right" and "perfect" way to prove I am not that person, who I may truly be or may just be carrying around an outdated version of who I am. Public school really messed me up. Kids were so cruel, and I was always new and vulnerable and sensitive. Maybe my social anxieties (meeting new people, fearing that people will "know" who I "really" am, fearing harsh judgment and lack of understanding for being different)... Maybe those stem from moving so much and constantly being targeted? I was such an easy target... Hurt kids can be so hurtful.
Anyway, so maybe I thought being perfect was the key, the answer to feeling good about myself? Smart came easy to me. Sometimes I felt like my best wasn't "the" best, the ultimate, so I still wasn't good enough -- like I graduated with my diploma and a 3.97 GPA from an adult high school (earning it in just over a year, which is impressive!), but my dad said, "Yeh, but it wasn't REAL high school." And because A's came easy to me, I thought maybe I didn't deserve the credit for working hard. Perfect.... "It simply isn't good enough, to make us, happy." (that quote was from the song)
Ah, untangling the past is like untangling a giant knot with lots of different colored threads, and sometimes you can't see what threads are causing a specific hang up because they are buried deep in the knot.
Was it my mom? Was it my dad? Who's the source of all my woes? Lol Really, it matters and it doesn't matter at all, it hurts and it's no big deal, I wish it had been different and I'm glad it happened, I'm mad but I'm not mad. Just trying to untangle it all, so I can be free of knots... Perfectly knotless? Interesting...
I wrote an update on facebook recently that said, "I'm not always perfect at valuing imperfection." Still working on this. Unpacking. Untangling. Observing. Being more present. Being present more. Synchrony: this song "Perfect".
I want soooo much better for my daughter (I feel like I put waaaay more pressure on her than on the babies, but maybe that's because of their age, and maybe I want to be clear for them, too). I am enjoying this journey and seeing this all unfold.

Free Birth

In honor of my baby's first birthday, and the 1 year anniverary of my free birth, I am going to share a lot of information on free birth...

Birth is one of my biggest passions in life. Please feel free to read my unassisted birth story, but beware it is raw and real :)) After prepping for and experiencing my unassisted birth, I plan to someday be a laymidwife, or a hands-on birth advocate of some kind -- details for a later post. For now, lemme share some info I have collected and stuff I have written on free birth for the past 2 years.

What is free birth?

Good news: I think you get to decide for yourself! Many people have opinions on what it means to and what "qualifies" as a "free birth", ranging in interventions and hinderances and plans and outcomes and attendees. My idea of a free birth is one where unassisted birth is a valid foundation and then the mother builds upon that with choices that tailor her pregnancy and birth. This is my definition -- please feel free to formulate your own if mine doesn't do it for you ;)

I think it is important, like in other areas of life, to question one's fears to see how much they are making the decisions, which is why I find unassisted birth information important. Not only is it possible for any of us to have an unassisted birth (regardless of our plans, so it might be beneficial to be prepared), but the philosophies are focused on eliminating dependency on fear of childbirth, interventions, and "expert" attendants - then the mom can make true choices. One thing I learned from researching unassisted birth is that WE are the experts. Research and people holding degrees can prove or disprove a theory or bit of information over and over - listen to your insides and see what feel right to you. It is a precarious situation one finds themself in when they are both trusting themself and questioning their assumptions, but therein lies the answers you are looking for :)

Without further adoo (or however it is spelled), here is the info on unassisted birth. Believe it or not, this is just a smidge of what I read -- just Unassisted Childbirth 101. It is a compilation of information I found most pertinant, while I was doing my researching during my pregnancy. Happy reading!:

I cut and pasted this from another venue. If a link doesn't work, let me know, and I will correct it.

The Truth About Birth
I enjoy giving birth. I find it exhilarating and exciting, sexual and spiritual, magical and miraculous! It is POWER in its purest form, and for me, it is the ultimate creative act.

I prefer to give birth either alone, or with my husband and children. All four of our children have been born this way. David caught the first one, and I caught the other three. To those who have been raised in a culture that views birth as inherently dangerous and painful, this may sound like absolute insanity. There was a time when I would have agreed, but that was before I knew the truth about birth.

It was English physician and writer, Grantly Dick-Read, who first opened my eyes to the safety and beauty of birth. Dick-Read, who wrote and practiced in the first half of the twentieth century, is widely credited with being one of the fathers of natural childbirth. Simply stated, Dick-Read believed there is a loving, intelligent consciousness that is behind and within all life. This consciousness knows how to grow a baby inside of us. We don't have to consciously "assist" it, figuring out how to grow fingers and toes, eyes and ears. We simply have to trust that as long as we get fresh air and exercise, shelter and food, the fertilized egg within us will grow into a human being. And because nature or God is efficient - it completes what it starts - that same reasoning can be applied to the act of birth.

In other words, we are not suddenly abandoned at the end of our pregnancy. There is literally a birth "response" that propels our babies from womb to world with very little conscious effort on our part. The problem is, there is something even more powerful than the birth response, something that can override it entirely. That something is known as the fight/flight response.
Dick-Read explained it in this way: when a woman is in a state of fear, messages are sent to the body telling it there is a danger out there that must be fought or run away from. Blood and oxygen are instantly sent into the arms and legs enabling the frightened woman to fight the danger or run away. In order for this to happen, however, blood and oxygen must be drained from other organs which the body considers nonessential for fight or flight. This is why we turn white when we're afraid. The body assumes that our leg muscles need blood and oxygen more than our face does.

Unfortunately, when it comes to fight or flight, the uterus is considered a nonessential organ. According to Dick-Read, the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. Because it is deprived of "fuel" - blood and oxygen - it cannot function correctly, nor can waste products be properly carried away. Hence, the laboring woman experiences not only pain, but a multitude of problems. The solution, he believed, was twofold: not only do women need to stop being afraid, but doctors need to stop interfering in the process. Laboring women do not need to be poked, prodded, and drugged. Instead, they need to be calmly encouraged, or simply left alone so their bodies may work unhindered.

Animals intuitively understand this concept. This is why they seek seclusion in labor. They "know" that when a birth is interfered with, the labor may stop or the baby may die. This is as true for domesticated animals as it is for animals in the wild. Purina's Handbook of Cat Care advises owners to pet the laboring cat

reassuringly and leave her on her own. She may stay in the box; on the other hand, don't be surprised if she doesn't. The best thing to do at this point is to do nothing. Keep quiet and do not attempt to help her - it's her problem. Mother nature usually takes over at this point and it is amazing to see how she goes about doing what comes naturally.

Unfortunately, this book is not on the required reading list in most medical schools! Doctors are taught to intervene in birth, and intervene they do.

Why Choose an Unassisted Childbirth?
Many women who support home birth have asked me why I and other unassisted birthers object to having a midwife at our births "just in case." Modern physics has proven that the very act of observing something changes it. Birth is essentially an emotional/spiritual/sexual act. And just as most couples would find it hard to relax and have sex with others in the room, many of them feel the same way about birth. Actually, some couples do choose to have sex in labor. When a woman is sexually stimulated, oxytocin pours through her system, stimulating the contractions. Pitocin, which is often administered in the hospital to speed up contractions, is artificial oxytocin.

Not only, however, do some couples find the presence of a midwife or doctor inhibiting, they also find it unnecessary. Women's bodies were designed to give birth. When a woman is physically and psychologically healthy (free from fear, shame, and guilt), babies can often be born easily. As Grantly Dick-Read, author of Childbirth without Fear writes, "If left alone in labor, the body of a woman produces most easily the baby that is not interfered with by its mother's mind or the assistant's hand. If left alone, just courage and patience are required. Faith, if she is a believer, is the secret to having a healthy baby and being a happy mother."
Some women actually prefer to give birth completely alone. Of course, most of them would say they weren't alone - God, their innerself, or the larger consciousness, was with them, guiding them each step of the way.
Unassisted childbirth is empowering for the woman, her partner, and her baby. Women who have given birth with little or no assistance often describe it as the most fulfilling experience of their lives. With no one around to tell them what to do, when to push, or which position to be in, many women find they know how to give birth.

Unassisted childbirth is free!

Although some women find the presence of midwives or doctors comforting, others find it inhibiting. It is up to each one of us to decide for ourselves who we want to be with us in birth.

Is Unassisted Childbirth Safe?
One of the greatest myths perpetuated by the medical system is that hospitals are the safest place to give birth. Stories abound of women dying in childbirth before the advent of modern hospitals. And yet, few people realize that women were not dying due to the fact that childbirth is inherently dangerous, but rather because of the living conditions at that time. Poor women were generally underfed and overworked during pregnancy, while wealthy women were often deprived of fresh air and sunshine because brown skin was considered socially unacceptable. Wealthy girls were corsetted from the age of eleven, so that by the time they turned fourteen, their pelvises were literally deformed. These physical factors, combined with various psychological ones (fear, shame, and guilt) led to the problems that some women encountered.

Throughout history, normal, healthy women have rarely died in childbirth. In fact, when birth moved from the home to the hospital in the 1920s, the infant and maternal mortality rates actually rose. A major study done as early as 1933 showed that hospital births were not as safe as home births. Studies done in the last twenty years, prove this is still the case. (Mayer Eisenstein, MD, The Home Court Advantage, 1988.)

When a laboring woman goes into the modern-day hospital, she is surrounded by medical personnel and machinery. Often she is told what to eat (generally nothing), what position to be in (generally flat on her back, which narrows the pelvic outlet and prevents her from utilizing the natural gravitational force), and when and when not to push (which interferes with her own instinctive knowledge of birth). Her progress is charted and measured and she is treated more like a machine than a thinking, feeling, intelligent adult.

If her labor is not progressing at the speed at which the hospital has arbitrarily decided it should be, she is often given drugs to speed things up. The drugs, however, may make her contractions more painful, which in turn, cause her to take more medication to deal with the pain. Not only does this medication prevent her from fully participating in the birthing process, it also crosses the placenta, adversely affecting her unborn baby.
Sometimes a woman's body simply shuts down after all this intervention, and the woman is told she needs a cesarean section in order for her baby to be born safely. Unaware that the intervention she received actually caused the "complications" in the first place, she often consents "for the good of the baby." Nearly one in four babies in this country are now born by cesarean section.

Many women who have given birth in the hospital report dissatisfaction not only with the way they were treated, but with the way their babies were treated as well. Babies are often taken away from their mothers immediately after birth to be weighed, measured, tested and cleaned. Eye drops are administered "just in case" a mother has a venereal disease, and Vitamin K is administered because babies are supposedly born "deficient."

When a woman gives birth at home, she is free to eat what she wants, assume any position she wants, and push or not push depending on how she feels. When no one is telling her what to do, she is able to "tune in" and listen to "the still, small voice within." The same loving consciousness that knew how to grow her baby inside her perfectly, knows how to get her baby out safely and easily, if only she will let it. With no one shouting commands at her, a woman is free to relax, and naturally birth her baby. After the birth, there is no one there to separate her from her baby. She can hold and nurse him as long as she wishes. Women all over the world are rediscovering the fact that birth works best when it is interfered with least.

In the past several years I have received hundreds of stories from women and couples who have successfully given birth without medical assistance. Their stories speak for themselves. No one, however, regardless of their "expertise," can guarantee that a baby will be born safely. Some babies die. It's simply nature's way.
www.unassistedchildbirth.com (Laura Shanley)

Changing Fear/Tension/Pain into Faith/Relaxation/Pleasure
by Laura Shanley
Giving birth in a culture that continually depicts labor as painful and dangerous is a feat in itself these days. Everywhere we look we're shown images of women screaming while giving birth, and masked doctors heroically saving the day. TV medical dramas abound with women being rushed into operating rooms for emergency C-sections, and sit-coms are notorious for showing laboring women bitching at their guilt-ridden husbands for making them endure the "trials of labor." Nowhere is birth depicted as a pleasurable experience. It's no wonder that most women fear it.

Some women, in fact, are so afraid of birth that they literally can't conceive. I spoke with a doctor recently who told me that she was infertile. "My husband and I have had numerous tests and there is absolutely nothing wrong with us physically," she said, "but I've always been terrified of giving birth. I've known since I was a child that I was never going to give birth. Do you think my fear has actually kept me from conceiving?"

I've spoken with other women who have been able to conceive but unable to give birth vaginally. They too have wondered what role fear played in their experiences.

Still others have given birth vaginally but endured a great deal of pain. One woman said to me, "My sisters and I were all C-section babies. For me, it was a triumph just to give birth vaginally. Maybe next time I'll be able to eliminate the pain."
So, as much as some women may criticize me for saying that one way of giving birth is more desirable than another, or that there are goals to strive for in birth, I truly believe there are. And the goal I've chosen to strive for is a painless, drug-free, medically unassisted home birth.

Red flags go up - even among unassisted birthers - when I talk about painless birth. Most women have pain in labor and they're defensive if I say that birth doesn't have to hurt. Some women feel that I'm "blaming" them for their pain, but that certainly isn't my intention. Given the culture that most of us have been raised in, pain, unfortunately, is actually to be expected in most cases.

However, I don't see birth as inherently painful, and I know there will come a time when labor will be enjoyed rather than endured. But before that can occur, there must be a change in the consciousness of humanity, and ultimately that change has to start with the individual.

If we truly wish to experience a painless birth, it helps to know a little about the nature of pain, including its function and cause. Pain is a sign telling us that something is wrong. It doesn't happen indiscriminately. It only occurs when we're doing something we shouldn't be doing. The pain is a message telling us to stop.

In the case of a laboring woman, it is obviously not a message to stop laboring. What then, could the pain be telling us? According to Grantly Dick-Read, author of Childbirth without Fear, fear is the source of pain in labor. No other natural bodily function is painful, he writes, and childbirth should not be the exception.

When a person is afraid, messages are sent to the body telling it there is a danger out there that must be fought or run away from. Blood and oxygen are instantly sent into the muscle structure, enabling the frightened person to strike out or run. But the extra blood and oxygen must come from somewhere, so the body drains it from organs it considers nonessential for "flight or fight." This is why people turn white when they're afraid. The body knows that the arms and legs need that blood and oxygen more than the face does.

Unfortunately, the body considers the uterus a nonessential organ when it comes to flight or fight. According to Dick-Read, the uterus of a frightened woman in labor is literally white. It doesn't have the fuel it needs so it cannot function the way it was designed to, nor can waste products be properly carried away. Consequently, there is pain. So, to eliminate the pain we must eliminate the fear.

Of course, sometimes that's easier said than done. Fear runs deep in our culture and many of us could spend a lifetime (or two) purging ourselves of the fear we've developed. Even the most "enlightened" people have had childhoods that weren't perfect. And even a child who is raised by fearless parents, still has to live in a culture that is constantly emphasizing the "dangers" of being alive. I'm reminded of a statement made by the late Eric Sevareid. "The biggest big business in America," he said "is not steel, automobiles, or television. It is the manufacture, refinement and distribution of anxiety."

And yet, eliminating fear is not impossible, for there is something that is much more powerful than the most all-consuming fear - FAITH. Faith is believing that all is well. Faith is knowing that we're not alone in the universe. Faith is understanding that the consciousness that created us does not want us to suffer in birth or in life. Faith is trusting that our bodies were designed to give birth safely and painlessly. Faith is accepting the fact that we are the creators of our lives and our births.

Faith is not the opposite of reason. Having faith does not mean that we sit back and do nothing during our pregnancy. When we have faith, we understand the psychological origins for the majority of pain and problems most women encounter in labor and we do our best to face and conquer our fears. We don't run to "specialists" for "blood work" or urine tests or vitamins, for we know that with good food (neither too much, nor too little), fresh air, exercise, and the proper beliefs, our babies will thrive.
Having faith is the first step towards eliminating the fear/tension/pain cycle that most women experience in labor, for faith leads to relaxation, and relaxation leads to pleasure.

There is no doubt that the energy of birth is powerful. But its power can be like the wind that scatters the seeds of the willow tree, or a sunrise that bathes the sky in a beautiful yellow light. This is my vision of birth. Someday, I know the rest of the world will share it with me.

Pasted from http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/inspired/faith.html

The Importance of Relaxation
by Grantly Dick-Read, M.D.
Excerpted from Childbirth Without Fear
Any stress to the mother stimulates the adrenal glands to pour out catecholemines. As a result, muscle sphincters tighten down making uterine contractions less effective and sending blood away from the uterus to the arms and legs preparing the body for fight or flight. All of this prevents an adequate supply of oxygen to the big contracting muscle - the uterus.
There are three muscle layers composing the uterus. The outer muscles contract to push the baby down, through, and ultimately out of the uterus. The middle muscles contract to squeeze the blood out of the walls of the uterus and then relax to allow the blood vessels to fill up again with a fresh supply of blood.

But when the inner circular muscles contract they close the outlet, maintaining the uterus in its unemptied shape. Thus, these inner circular muscles must be loose and relaxed when the long muscles contract to open the womb and push the baby out.
If a woman is frightened during labor this inner muscle layer contracts, then the muscles of the uterus and the muscles that hold it closed are working against each other.

Whenever there are two big groups of muscles working against each other they soon begin to hurt and in a short time the pain becomes very severe. We speak of this as the fear-tension-pain-syndrome of childbirth. A woman who is afraid and unconsciously resisting the birth of her baby tightens the circular uterine fibers which prevents the progress of the birth and increases muscle tension within the walls of the uterus. This causes nearly all of the pains and distresses in otherwise normal labor - which describes the labor of about ninety-five women out of a hundred.
Reprinted from Midwifery TodayE-News (Vol.1 Issue 15, Apr 9, 1999)

Pasted from http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/inspired/grantly.htm

Excerpts from
"The Epidural Express: Real Reasons Not to Jump On Board"
by Nancy Griffin
(Mothering, Spring 1997)
The main cause of pain in a normal childbirth is . . . the 'Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome.' . . . [O]ur biology provides us with powerful instincts during birth. The first is the need to feel safe and protected. All mammals will instinctively seek out a dark, secluded, quiet, and, most of all, safe place in which to give birth. While birthing, mammals give the appearance of sleep and closed eyes to fool would-be predators, and they breathe normally. Some (those who don't perspire) will pant in order to cool down, but humans will most easily achieve a relaxed state through closed eyes and abdominal breathing. This relaxation slows down the birthing mother's brain waves into what is called an alpha state, a state in which it is virtually impossible to release adrenaline, the "fight-flight" hormone. Physical comfort becomes critical, along with the need to have a "nest" ready for the baby. Hospital environments often unintentionally disrupt the birthing atmosphere by introducing bright lights, lots of people, noise, and fear-inducing exams and machines.

The uterine muscles are beautifully designed to deal quite effectively with danger, fear, and stress in labor. The uterus is the only muscle in the body that contains within itself two opposing muscle groups--one to induce and continue labor and another to stop labor if the birthing mother is in danger or afraid. Emotional or physical stress will automatically signal danger to a birthing mammal. Her labor will slow down or stop completely so that she can run to safety. In modern times, this goes haywire. We can't run from our fears--which may include the "horror story" our best friend told us about her birth--or even from our hospital or physician. Instead, we may release adrenaline, which causes the short, circular muscle fibers in the lower third of the uterus to contract. These muscles are responsible for stopping labor by closing and tightening the cervix. The result is that we literally "stew" in our own adrenaline. At the same time that the long, straight muscle fibers of the uterus are contracting to efface and dilate the cervix, the short, circular muscle fibers of the lower uterus are also contracting to keep the cervix closed and "fight" the labor. The result? The very real pain of two powerful muscles pulling in opposite directions each time the birthing mother has a contraction.

By learning to deeply relax mentally, physically, and emotionally; actively dealing with fears about birth; and choosing a birthing environment that feels safe and protective, birthing women will not have to experience the traumatic pain caused by the 'Fear-Tension-Pain Syndrome.'

Pasted from http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/ucstories/griffin.html

I Believe.....
That birth is inherently safe. The same loving, intelligent consciousness (All That Is, Goddess, God, Nature) that knows how to grow an egg and a sperm into a human being, knows how to get it out. Our job is simply to relax and trust. Birth is not a function of the conscious mind any more than digestion is.
I Believe.....
That the problems women sometimes encounter in birth can be traced to three main causes:
Poverty - lack of food and poor living conditions

Outside interference - doctors and sometimes midwives poking, prodding, testing, drugging, cutting, etc.

Inside interference - primarily fear which triggers the fight/flight response and shuts down labor, but also shame and guilt
When these factors are eliminated, most women can give birth easily, either alone or with friends and family.
I Believe.....
That our bodies and our babies are responsive to our thoughts. The best way to ensure a good pregnancy and birth is to think positively, face and overcome our fears, and believe in our own abilities.
www.unassistedchildbirth.com

purebirth-australia.com
A Different Mindset
Unassisted Pregnancy & Childbirth is a totally different mindset to the current views our Westernised culture has on pregnancy and childbirth. Here's a closer look at the freebirthing mindset.
Natural Body Function
Pregnancy and childbirth are a natural function of the woman's body. Other natural body functions involve breathing, bowel movements, eating etc and we can consciously control them or do them without thought or control.
We do not think about breathing all the time, we just do it. We don't concern ourselves over whether or not we will successfully be able to eliminate our wastes, we just do it as we need to do it.
We expect our bodies to work as they were meant to. We expect our bodily functions to be successful as a matter of course. We don't "hope" for success, we just expect it. And for the majority of time, we don't have any issues.
Childbirth is no different. When it is time, we will give birth. There is all there is to it. We trust that childbirth is a natural body function. We trust that it will be fine, and if it is one of those rare times where it isn't, we will seek assistance just like we would if we ran into trouble with one of our other body functions.
Mother is the Primary Expert & Authority
Without other sources of authority or qualified experts present, the mother becomes the primary expert where her body, birth and child are concerned. This is how it should be - women need to know they can look to themselves and do the necessary things as becomes necessary. No more, no less.
For some this is a leap of faith. For others this is simply freedom to access their intuitive powers and knowledge without having to fight for it, explain or justify their decisions or actions.
Many freebirthers want and demand to be the sole authority present at their births and the full responsibility and accountability that comes with this freedom. To most this is preferable over the illusion of shared responsibility with a caregiver that will never suffer the real consequences of a bad decision.
True Natural Physiological Birth
To have a truly natural and physiological childbirth, a woman must be truly unhindered, uninhibited and free to go with the flow of her birthing energies. It is next to impossible to have a birth that has no interventions or influences (internal or external) in the medical model of childbirth - and that includes homebirth with a midwife.
Freebirthers believe in natural physiological birth and that birth was designed to work. If childbirth was so fraught with risk and complications that nature could not resolve in the natural process of birth then reproduction would come to a screaming halt. Humans as a species would have died out by now if our reproduction was intrinsically flawed.
Interference with the physiological process of childbirth is what causes so many complications seen in childbirth in the westernised world. Is it really a wonder why so many people are ingrained with the sense that childbirth is risky and a "what if" is most likely to occur? Luck has nothing to do with a body function being successful.
Safest Birthing Option
Most freebirthers believe that unassisted childbirth is the safest possible option for birth. Homebirth has consistently been proven to be safer than hospital or birth centre birth. It is not much more of a stretch to see how freebirth can be safer than homebirth with a midwife as the mother will look to herself for information about what is happening first, rather than rely on a midwife that only has external signs to go by.
Positive & Most Responsible Option
Free pregnancies and births are usually very positive experiences as the mindset of freebirthers tend towards the confidently positive rather than negativity or doubt. This strongly and positively influences women's birthing experiences.
As for responsibility, it is the most responsible thing a woman can do. Every pregnant woman should be prepared for the chance of freebirth. She may not make it to hospital in time. Her midwife may not make it to her home in time. She may be stuck somewhere without assistance to birth. Freebirth preparation is the ultimate birth preparation and responsibility regardless of which choice women end up taking for their birth.
Pasted from http://www.purebirth-australia.com/pregnancy/freebirth-mindset.html

Trusting in Birth
Childbirth is a normal, physiological process - a natural function of the female human body. Other normal physiological functions include sleeping, eating, taking a crap, breathing, etc.

All those other processes could be considered risky - for example, everytime you eat, you run the risk of choking to death on something, or falling ill from the food. But for the majority of the time, for the majority of us, we are able to eat without falling sick nor choking.

Take eating... We don't take any preventive "just in case" measures everytime we eat. We simply eat without thinking about it, assuming that we will be fine.

So, why do we have problems trusting in the birth process, and that everything will be fine? Its different for each person, and to work through it, you need to know your own "why's" and "becauses".

Trust in birth. There is only one thing vital to the birthing process and that is a mother giving birth. Everything else is just decoration.

The true journey and progress is made within each individual mother and with each of her unique pregnancies and births. This is something only the woman giving birth can do, not anyone else and it would be arrogant to think that a birthing woman can't do what she is already instinctively doing without support or assistance.

There is nothing to fear in birth. One should not be fearing complications, pain, inability to birth, intervention, unwanted presences, etc yet a lot of women have something to fear and that hinders the birthing process.
Women who freely choose to have a freebirth, often have worked out their issues beforehand and are left with a deep trust in birth and themselves.

Trust in it like you would in your ability to eat and your body's ability to eat and process the food.

To give birth is to complete the cycle of creating a life, and it should be as sacred as the act of creating it.

A Different Mindset
Unassisted Pregnancy & Childbirth is a totally different mindset to the current views our Westernised culture has on pregnancy and childbirth. Here's a closer look at the freebirthing mindset.
Natural Body Function
Pregnancy and childbirth are a natural function of the woman's body. Other natural body functions involve breathing, bowel movements, eating etc and we can consciously control them or do them without thought or control.
We do not think about breathing all the time, we just do it. We don't concern ourselves over whether or not we will successfully be able to eliminate our wastes, we just do it as we need to do it.
We expect our bodies to work as they were meant to. We expect our bodily functions to be successful as a matter of course. We don't "hope" for success, we just expect it. And for the majority of time, we don't have any issues.
Childbirth is no different. When it is time, we will give birth. There is all there is to it. We trust that childbirth is a natural body function. We trust that it will be fine, and if it is one of those rare times where it isn't, we will seek assistance just like we would if we ran into trouble with one of our other body functions.
Mother is the Primary Expert & Authority
Without other sources of authority or qualified experts present, the mother becomes the primary expert where her body, birth and child are concerned. This is how it should be - women need to know they can look to themselves and do the necessary things as becomes necessary. No more, no less.
For some this is a leap of faith. For others this is simply freedom to access their intuitive powers and knowledge without having to fight for it, explain or justify their decisions or actions.
Many freebirthers want and demand to be the sole authority present at their births and the full responsibility and accountability that comes with this freedom. To most this is preferable over the illusion of shared responsibility with a caregiver that will never suffer the real consequences of a bad decision.
True Natural Physiological Birth
To have a truly natural and physiological childbirth, a woman must be truly unhindered, uninhibited and free to go with the flow of her birthing energies. It is next to impossible to have a birth that has no interventions or influences (internal or external) in the medical model of childbirth - and that includes homebirth with a midwife.
Freebirthers believe in natural physiological birth and that birth was designed to work. If childbirth was so fraught with risk and complications that nature could not resolve in the natural process of birth then reproduction would come to a screaming halt. Humans as a species would have died out by now if our reproduction was intrinsically flawed.
Interference with the physiological process of childbirth is what causes so many complications seen in childbirth in the westernised world. Is it really a wonder why so many people are ingrained with the sense that childbirth is risky and a "what if" is most likely to occur? Luck has nothing to do with a body function being successful.
Safest Birthing Option
Most freebirthers believe that unassisted childbirth is the safest possible option for birth. Homebirth has consistently been proven to be safer than hospital or birth centre birth. It is not much more of a stretch to see how freebirth can be safer than homebirth with a midwife as the mother will look to herself for information about what is happening first, rather than rely on a midwife that only has external signs to go by.
Positive & Most Responsible Option
Free pregnancies and births are usually very positive experiences as the mindset of freebirthers tend towards the confidently positive rather than negativity or doubt. This strongly and positively influences women's birthing experiences.
As for responsibility, it is the most responsible thing a woman can do. Every pregnant woman should be prepared for the chance of freebirth. She may not make it to hospital in time. Her midwife may not make it to her home in time. She may be stuck somewhere without assistance to birth. Freebirth preparation is the ultimate birth preparation and responsibility regardless of which choice women end up taking for their birth.
Pasted from http://www.purebirth-australia.com/pregnancy/freebirth-mindset.html

Why chose unassisted birth
(clips from various sites--all cited)
a desire to retain control over one of life's most emotional, intimate and primal processes is paramount.
Pasted from http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/07/27/AR2...

the most inconvenient hindrance is having to expend your limited energy during labor to try and make caregivers understand that you want to be responsible for your own birth, and that you do not want to submit to their procedures and routines. You deserve to have a beautiful, unhindered birth, which is difficult to come by when some other caregiver is interrupting your concentration and disturbing your peace so that you cannot hear that inner voice which confirms truth.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/responsibility.html

Women are tired of their wishes and beliefs about birth not being honored and respected. They realize that many hospital procedures which doctors are required to adhere to are more about avoiding malpractice suits than about what is really best for the woman and baby.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/unassisted.html

We, as spiritual beings, have the capacity to experience the transformative power of birth that connects us with deeper understanding of life.
When Love is an integral part of the birthing field, a woman has access to the power of creation that is working through her. The more power there is in her field the less force she will need to use, because Love is a highly coherent field. And visa versa: the less power she has, the more force it would require to deliver a baby.
Pasted from http://www.birthintobeing.com/

one where someone else's view of birth is not dictating the birth
Pasted from http://www.cafemom.com/group/40954/forums/read/9081584/What_would_y...

I knew that birth was a door into myself, if I treated it that way. I knew I needed to be alone with myself.
I believe it is every woman's right to give birth the way she wants to.
Pasted from http://www.childbirthsolutions.com/articles/pregnancy/unassistedbir...

if a family is attracted to Freebirth as a way to avoid a recurrence of birth disappointment at the hands of a perinatal professional, I invite them to rather heal that and find a positive motive to Freebirth. As the bumper sticker states, what we resist, persists.
Pasted from http://www.birthkeeper.com/Freebirth.html

riding the birthwave of the future
it is up to you to create that excellent, healing, powerful experience
Pasted from http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/stories/unassisted.html

if we change OUR way of being in Birth, we will demand by our very presence and approach the respect we deserve...and maybe, just maybe that will touch every other area of our daughters' experience as Women in the world.
Pasted from http://www.shebirths.com/wotg_course.htm

The body needs to be the one in control. There are thousands of years of primal instinct coded into the woman's body.
Pasted from http://webmail.aol.com/42951/aol/en-us/Suite.aspx

No one else has the information that the mother and baby do because it is not happening to them. This makes the mother the only true EXPERT AUTHORITY present at her birth. She has access to information that the care provider will never have access to.
That information may not be able to be communicated in logical, reasonable words and sentences.

She may not be able to explain that it is right and okay for her to do what she is doing and that to fight it would be to cause problems with birthing.
Birthing is a natural physiological process, designed by millions of years of evolution.
Pasted from

we are finally understanding the long-lasting effects of verbal/emotional abuse, which most often does not have an immediate physical effect, and recognizing it's significance in the lives of those touched by it, the same applies to Birth. Being "healthy" isn't just about a strong heartbeat and physical post-birth healing. It's about HEALTH in all areas of our being-and our baby's.

[cont'd "why"]

undeterred by the worries of others

We tend to be self-conscious when we are watched, especially by strangers, and this can prevent us from birthing as freely as we could were we not being observed. When we are only with our loved ones, or completely on our own, we are less inhibited. We do not have to worry about embarrassing ourselves, nor do we have to feel like we are participating in a spectator sport. We can birth as we were meant to do, surrounded by love and acceptance.

Pasted from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/133301/why_do_people_chose...

Those who birth unassisted for religious reasons do so because they believe it is natural and will bring them closer to nature and the gods. They want to explore their own creative power and get in touch with their inner priestess. Some want to be the goddess of their own life and follow their own path. One may simply want to get in touch with their hearts and ground themselves to the Earth. Most women who do it for religious reasons are seeking enlightenment, but that is not the only factor behind religious unattended birth. Unassisted childbirth can be a great way to reconnect with your own intuition, and it can help build confidence in oneself which can have a profound impact on family relationships.

Birth itself is considered profound by most, though for others it is considered no more profound than passing a bowel movement. Some women simply see birth as a normal part of life that doesn't require a lot of fuss to be made. They may birth while everyone else is sleeping or at work or school, without calling anyone to assist. The moment you meet your child is always beautiful and life-changing, but the act of delivering a child feels ordinary to many people who chose to birth unassisted. They just see it as a normal life experience that doesn't have to be witnessed.

We want to heal from being coerced, manipulated, and deceived into consenting to unnecessary, harmful medical procedures. We need to be free of those experiences.

a birth attendant is not needed; a baby will come no matter who is present!

Chosing to birth unattended is about learning to trust your instincts and take complete responsibility for the life of yourself and your child.

Women who chose this path come from a variety of backgrounds and have many reasons. Most women don't have just one reason for doing it but an entire mental list. The choice is very personal and often very important to those who make it, so much that they risk disdain from others for following their hearts down this road.

Arwyn from MDC says, "I think labor has the potential to be social, to be sexual, to be spiritual, to be orgasmic, to be sacred, to be ordinary, to be painful, to be scary, to be revolutionary, to be so many things. I don't think it's necessarily one more than any other - I think it's up to each woman to pursue the aspect she most wants/identifies with/is called to. For some, that means they want just their partner there, or they want no one there, or they want all their women support there. I think there are ways to give birth that are more safe, or less safe, and prepared UC is one of the safer/safest ways, but women are more than capable of weighing their options and making an informed choice about which path is right for them."

Pasted from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/133301/why_do_people_chose...

believes in childbirth as a normal, non-agonizing, natural act, and that's something every woman could benefit from, whether she births at home or in a hospital. Replacing the fear with faith just might deliver women from the throws of childbirth agony and into the open arms of the miracle they helped to create.

Pasted from http://www.pregnancytoday.com/articles/birth-procedures/unassisted-...

According to the technocratic model, typical of North America and Europe today, birth is a potentially pathological process and only 'normal' in retrospect. Labour and delivery are the work of an obstetric team rather than the woman herself. Each pregnant woman is evaluated in terms of risk categories, and from early pregnancy on she is turned into a patient, someone who is the object of medical care, concern and screening. There is often little continuity of care and a large number of different, and often anonymous, specialists may be involved. Emotional and spiritual aspects of birth are usually ignored or treated as embarrassing.

The social model, in contrast, defines birth as a social event and normal life process. It entails hard work that is done by the woman, her close family, female friends and other women in the neighbourhood, including a midwife who is well-known in the community. Her helpers are almost exclusively women. She has continuity of care and a continuing relationship with those who are providing care. The mother is seen as passing through a major life transition in which spiritual forces must be invoked to support her and evil spirits and negative psychological influences kept at bay. Emotional and spiritual aspects of birth are central to the experience of everyone participating.

Pasted from http://www.sheilakitzinger.com/BOOKs/rdb.htm

Most of us have been taught that scientific, medical information is more legitimate than a birthing woman's own knowledge, but I don't believe that for a minute. Doctors and midwives might know alot about birth, but it is mothers who give birth.

Pasted from http://www3.sympatico.ca/ramonalisa/birthingfree.html>;;;


Safety
Childbirth and the Car Analogy
So you want to know how safe childbirth is really?
Let's look at the cultural conditioning of what childbirth is believed to be.
Most births take place in hospitals today and many people say that they had birth complications and that 'things had to be done' to assist in birthing. They take this to mean childbirth is inherently risky, and to give birth is safe if you do it in hospital with medical assistance at the ready.
That however, is n ot indicative of real physiological childbirth. Birth in the medical model, especially in hospital, is anything BUT natural or as Nature intended.
Birth works but the interference has already begun long before the interventions of birth occur.
Interference in the form of our belief structures, the accepted 'facts and norms' of society simply because it is that way for many, many people, the mass media, our cultures, our upbringing, our fears and even our less than optimal lifestyles.
If you want birth to be safe, there are many factors to consider, the most important being the trust and guidance of your instincts.
Just like gaining confidence to drive a car safely through learning, education (both external and self), instinct, reflexes, experience etc, you can also gain confidence that you can birth safely.
It is all within your reach if you so desire it.
If you want to keep going along the track of thought in comparing birthing with driving a car; consider this:
Birthing is a natural physiological process, designed by millions of years of evolution.
Driving a car is not. Technically, it c ould be considered an unnatural form of transport that came about with advances in civilisation. As for modern childbirth as opposed to physiological childbirth, the more our civilisation has advanced medically, the further it has gone off track from what childbirth really is.
Birthing as we were designed to birth, is safe. True risks, deaths or unresolvable complications ARE rare. Eg. Extremely short cords preventing baby from descending, complete true placenta previa, etc are rare.
Placenta previa and accreta are becoming less rare due to scars in the uterus from increased c-sections today. We are hearing about more and more complications of childbirth that have nothing to do with the risks of physiological childbirth and everything to do with the risks of hindering physiological childbirth.
Driving20a car, as it was meant to be driven, is not as safe as giving birth as birth was meant to be given.
True risks, deaths or unresolvable complications ARE NOT rare in driving a car. Why? Because you can't control what other people do in their own cars. You could be the world's safest driver, yet be hit and killed by some speeding idiot.
Likewise, giving birth in an environment where you are subject to unnatural hindrances and influences on your birth is a car accident waiting to happen, especially if you opt to give birth as you were NOT meant to - under the influence of drugs, with instruments, observation, sterility and stress.
Medical technology and assistance has its place in emergencies and in rare complications of physiological childbirth, but does little to safeguard childbirth itself from complications.
Pasted from http://www.purebirth-australia.com/childbirth/childbirth-safety.html

I realize that there are people who can cite terrible stories about births in which the mother and baby almost died, and were saved by medical intervention. And for every one of those stories, I can suggest to you several reasons why that birth trauma could have been avoided.
asted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/unassisted.html

They are not things that just "happen"....they are caused by something. In most cases, we can eliminate the cause.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/unassisted.html

No machine, such as an electronic fetal monitor, and no person other than the birthing woman can really know what is right for that woman. Only by looking within herself and consulting her inner wisdom through intuitive insight can the woman know what is right to do in her particular situation. Sometimes, she may sit down, close her eyes, and actually seek this insight in order to solve a perceived problem in the birth. But most likely, as the following birth story will depict, that which must be done is instinctively or intuitively made clear to the mother at a time of emergency, without her actively seeking such information.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/intuition.html

The reason that hospital birth, or any birth attended by a doctor or midwife is inherently dangerous, is that it causes the woman to not trust or listen to what her body is telling her to do, and it causes her to listen to others and accept their assessment of her situation when there is no possible way they could know what is best. By doing this, many complications often occur. The medical establishment tries to convince us that only through medical tests or the experience of professionals can a mother really have a safe birth....but it is reliance upon those very experiences which can actually cause complications. Your body knows what to do....if you will trust this process, and not try to second guess what your body is telling you, just trust it, you will avoid complications the majority of the time.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/intuition.html

in taking responsibility for your own health and birth, you have to do the research. Yes it's work. Yes, it would be easier to rely upon a medical professional who has been to school and supposedly knows what is best. But the reality is, what they suggest isn't always best in your particular situation, and only YOU can tell for sure. So don't be lazy, do your homework! All the information you need is out there.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/intuition.html

there are no guarantees in birth- either unassisted, or hyper-medically assisted.
Pasted from http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/stories/unassisted.html

You came from a long line of women who gave birth beautifully. Women today are the height of human evolution, every one of us is a result of our perfectly birthing ancestors. If we have small pelvises, so did they- there is no such thing as cephalopelvic disproportion. If we have really long pregnancies, so did they- there is no such thing as post-term pregnancy- there is "just right".
Pasted from http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/no_fear.html

When you KNOW what you are losing by allowing yourself to be treated like a "patient", when you stop allowing fear of "what could happen" dictate your choices, and start walking your path toward your Birth strong, aware and awake--things are very very different.
make the switch from the "patient" mindset to "expert" mindset
Pasted from http://www.shebirths.com/wotg_course.htm

The Safety of Childbirth
Safety in childbirth is measured by how many mothers and babies die and how many survive childbirth in less than perfect health.

Studies done comparing hospital and out-of-hospital births indicate fewer deaths, injuries and infections for homebirths supervised by a trained attendant than for hospital births. No such studies indicate that hospitals have better outcomes than homebirths.

So what of unassisted births? No official studies have been done to date yet on this.

Laura Shanley passed the following stats for unassisted birth:
Intended UCs March 1999-March 2000
Total: 54 babies
8 born in the hospital (one was a C-section)
2 born at home with a midwife
44 born at home unassisted
The 8 women who went to the hospital said they essentially went due to fear, pain, or lack of support from their husbands. One woman was losing her vision and thought it best to go.
The C-section was a breech. The woman went because she was in a lot of pain. The doctor gave her the option of either a vaginal birth or C-sec and she chose the C-sec.

The 2 women who called midwives were a little nervous during the birth. Both their midwives were very good, and non-interventive.
With the UCs, there were 2 transfers after the birth. One woman was losing too much blood (VBAC), the other gave birth prematurely and thought it best to take the baby to the hospital.
Both women were happy they had had a UC, as were the other 42. So the outcomes were very good. These stats are from all the women who have contacted me in the past year and said they were intending to have a UC.

Misc info
Variations & Complications of Pregnancy & Childbirth
Sometimes childbirth doesn't go smoothly. In the medical mode of healthcare, when childbirth doesn't go smoothly, the woman is labelled as having a "birth complication(s)".
Every birth is different however, and just as there are normal variations in height, size, weight, eye colour etc in humans, there are also normal variations in childbirth.
True birth complications are truly rare variations that do not resolve themselves during the birthing process - such as complete placenta previa.
Pasted from http://www.purebirth-australia.com/childbirth/birth-variations.html

by introducing negative thoughts and fear into the pregnancy, it creates a lot of anxiety which is not good for you or your child, and the more you dwell on a particular outcome, the more you bring it to reality. Your mind controls your body, and whatever thoughts or beliefs you introduce into your mind, if dwelt on, can have a negative impact on your pregnancy.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/prenatal.html

If you choose to do some or all prenatal care, be aware that it is possible you may have some unresolved fears over a particular area Eg. Trying to determine position of baby - not quite trusting in your ability to give birth without assistance regardless of position.
Part of preparing for birth involves processing your fears surrounding birth, so be consciously aware of what you are doing.
Pasted from http://www.purebirth-australia.com/pregnancy/unassisted-pregnancy-c...

Babies born to mothers who have remained upright throughout their labors rarely need to have nose or mouth suctioned because the fact that they have been head down the whole time means mucous has been draining from the nose and mouth throughout the entire delivery. As the baby descends through the birth canal, his chest and lungs are tightly squeezed so that any fluid or mucous is naturally expelled.

If you are remaining upright during your labor and delivery, you will not need one, and you will probably not tear either.
Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/delivery.html

any induction is a poor substitute for patience: be warned that natural inductions can cause long, erratic, difficult labors, and are not at all proven safe for the baby. They increase the probability of the baby passing meconium in utero, and the likelihood of having to transfer to the hospital for the birth. Midwife Gail Hart shares her wisdom about letting births happen in their own time in Midwifery Today's "The Birthkit "(Autumn, 2000): "There is a sort of chemical 'combination lock' that starts labor. Everything has to be lined up just right to 'unlock' a good labor pattern. When we interfere with that, it can be as frustrating as using the wrong combination of numbers to open a locked safe." Remember that every day inside of you is a precious gift that only you can give to your child.
Birth complications, especially in the first time mother, are often the result of helpful tampering with something that simply needs time and privacy to unfold as intended.
"Each expulsive sensation shapes the head of the baby to conform to the contours of the mother's pelvis. This can take time and lots of patience, especially if the baby is large. This shaping of the baby's skull must be done with the same gentleness and care as Michaelangelo applying plaster and shaping a statue. This shaping work often takes place over time in the midpelvis and is erroneously interpreted as 'lack of descent', 'arrest' or 'failure to progress' by those who do not appreciate art.
"I tell mothers at this time 'It's normal to feel like the baby is stuck.... the baby's head is elongating and getting shaped a little more with each sensation.... it will suddenly feel like it has come down.' And this is exactly what happens. Given time to mold, the head of the baby suddenly appears- this progression is not linear, and does not happen in stations of descent. Often the mother can sleep deeply between sensations and this is most helpful to recharge her batteries and allow gentle shaping of the babe's head. The baby is an active participant and must not be pushed and forced out of the mother's body until he/she is prepared to make the exit.
Birth isn't about hard, grueling work, it's an act of surrendering; of releasing, and opening up.
pelvic exams are one way to slow down a labor, if not stop it altogether
Pasted from http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/no_fear.html

BIRTH IS NO LONGER THE SACRED JOURNEY IT ONCE WAS. C-sections are as high as 75% in some countries, and in North America, Cesearean Sections have increased by over 400% in just 15 years. CLEARLY this procedure is NO LONGER being used SOLELY as a last resort-to save the lives of Mothers and Babies! Consider this: The risk of dying from a C-section is 2 to 3 TIMES that of dying from a Vaginal Birth! With so many lies, deliberate omissions, and misconceptions prevelant in mainstream society, it isn't suprising that many women feel that opting for a planned C-section is the better and safer of their options! Women are being led to the operating table, fully believing they are doing the best thing for their babies or themselves- when in only 3-10% of the cases, is this the truth. (that means that 90-97% of the time, it's a LIE.)
Far too many women have become voiceless patients told what to do and when, what stick to pee on, what to eat, and on what day they will have their babies removed from their abdomen. As post partum depression rates go up, the question begs to be asked: "Are women missing something when they have unnecessary or unethical C-sections?" The answer won't be found in a medical book-in fact, most OB's will even DENY the obvious connection between a Birth Passage that did not go as the Mother had hoped, and their subsequent depression!
AND WHAT ABOUT THE BABIES!!? Babies who are taken by C-section, without the benefit of any labor are more prone to lung and breathing problems, higher rates of asthma and tooth problems, not to mention the damage to their initial "imprint"-those first few moments on Earth that tells them that they are safe-loved, and welcome. NO MOTHER would wish their baby to experience any kind of unnecessary trauma- but for some reason, we have been conditioned to believe that they don't experience trauma until after Birth-how could we believe that they aren't "awake" yet!? Their Birth Passage has a profound effect on their foundation- what they believe about themselves and their place in the world. In addition to all of the recognizable trauma from C-sections, Mother's who have medical Births may have a difficult time breastfeeding, which can then rob the infant of the best nutritional/bonding opportunities, and the mother of incredibly important hormonal releases and bonding time!
Pasted from http://www.shebirths.com/wotg_course.htm

the births women mostly give in hospitals are not the births that women are intended to give- they are stark reflections of modern medicine
Pasted from http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/no_fear.html

many hospital procedures which doctors are required to adhere to are more about avoiding malpractice suits than about what is really best for the woman and baby

Pasted from http://www.unhinderedliving.com/unassisted.html

Childbirth is Safe for Today's American Women, but Why?
July 28, 2007 by
Heather B.

Low Maternal Death Rates Aren't Just Because of Hospitals & Technology!
Those who are against homebirth and freebirth often have the same arguments. They say that parents who chose these births are thrill-seekers who don't care about the well-being of their babies. A favorite statistic to quote is the fact that some 500,000 women die yearly around the world from childbirth complications. These arguments are severely lacking in foundation and evidence. There is much that the naysayers purposely leave out and exaggerate. To really understand the dangers of childbirth and the safety of birthing location, we need to examine the most common causes of maternal death across the world and why they are not so rare here in America today.

We need to know more for the number 500,000 to tell us anything about the safety of birth. How many women each year give birth? Where do most of those maternal deaths occur, and what is different about that country from America? What are the most common causes of death? How many of those deaths were truly preventable? The presence of this data would enable us to calculate percentages. Those percentages can give us a far better idea how safe or dangerous childbirth is than a lone number. The truth is, the numbers aren't quite so dismal for Americans.

Less than one percent of maternal deaths occur in developed countries. Most take place in developing nations. Some believe that's only due to their lack of technology. However, there are many differences between the United States and these other places. In developing nations, poverty is very common. There is not always clean drinking water or enough food to eat. Women may spend all day working in fields under the hot sun. Women in these countries are often malnourished and overworked, increasing their risk of complications and death. Poor sanitation is another large factor contributing to how dangerous birth in these places can be. It's not all about technology and prenatal care.

When considering the causes of death, we need to remember a few things. For one, cases where women died after abortions are counted. Moreover, ectopic pregnancy--when the egg implants outside of the womb--is another major cause of death. It can typically be identified by severe pain and bleeding. That causes about 13% of maternal deaths worldwide. Usually these pregnancies don't last very long, and the mother's body makes her quite aware that something is wrong. It has little to do with the subject of freebirth, as rarely do these pregnancies result in birth. Accidental deaths and those from incidental causes, like violence against women, may also be counted.

Women most commonly die during pregnancy or childbirth of infection (13%), preeclampsia (12%), hemorrhage (25%), sepsis, and obstructed labor (8%). Indirect causes make up 20% the maternal deaths, and these include preexisting conditions such as diseases and malnourishment. The last 8% are classified as other causes, some of which are unpreventable like amniotic fluid in the bloodstream. The frequency of these occurrences in the US are much lower than they are around the world. This is because Americans are less likely to be poor, malnourished, overworked, or to have unsanitary living conditions. Puerperal fever sepsis, or childbed fever, is contracted due to lack of sanitation. We've all but eliminated that in America because of our better hygiene.

Maternal mortality ratio is the number of maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. (Now remember, this isn't including stillborn deaths, nor do we know how many of the live births were multiples.) The countries with the two highest rates are Sierra Leone and Afghanistan, at 2000 and 1900 respectively. Iceland and Austria have the lowest ratios, at 10 and 4 respectively. The US MMR is 17. That means that for every 100,000 women that give birth, only 17 die. That's a percentage of 0.017% maternal deaths, far less than 1%, which was maternal death rate in the early 1900s. Back then one mother died for every 100 births; now one mother dies for every 10,000 births. The rate is much higher for African-American women.

This is attributed mainly to C-section usage (which actually triples risk of maternal death), obstetric labor management and prenatal care, as well as better sanitation. However, when we look at hospital birth vs. homebirth, the number of mothers dying after homebirth with midwifery care is even lower. This suggests that the hospital environment and obstetric approach to pregnancy and birth make maternal death more likely. Studies have shown that technological interventions like C-sections greatly increase risk of maternal death. One would have to conclude then that other factors play a bigger role in these better outcomes. We have significantly more knowledge, better hygiene practices, and take better care of ourselves physically, nutritionally, and emotionally. We now know not to smoke and drink during pregnancy, for example.

We know that infection and sepsis, accounting for 13% of maternal deaths, can be prevented with good sanitation. Another 13% of maternal deaths are the result of complications from abortion. Another 20% of maternal deaths are from indirect causes, which are also less likely in our country due to better nutrition, sanitation, and overall healthiness. The remaining 55% of deaths are caused by preeclampsia, hemorrhage, obstructed labor, and other causes such as embolisms. I can't examine those "other" causes, being that there are so many--too many to list and cover! We can, however, take a peek at these more common complications.

A significant number of deaths are because of hemorrhage, which is extensive bleeding. Risk of hemorrhage can be lowered by being well-nourished, breastfeeding after birth, avoiding blood-thinning medication, and birthing at home. Hemorrhage is three times more likely to occur in the hospital. It is even more likely after a C-section or pitocin. Hemorrhage can be treated adequately at home with many herbs, uterine massage, the trendelenberg position, urinating often, and oxygen administration. Sometimes medication or surgery is needed, which requires a hospital. While hemorrhage causes about 17% of maternal deaths in the US, only 5% or less of women will be afflicted with postpartum hemorrhage. Most cases occur after hospital births, particularly interventionist ones--which proves that death because of hemorrhage can't always be prevented.

This is attributed mainly to C-section usage (which actually triples risk of maternal death), obstetric labor management and prenatal care, as well as better sanitation. However, when we look at hospital birth vs. homebirth, the number of mothers dying after homebirth with midwifery care is even lower. This suggests that the hospital environment and obstetric approach to pregnancy and birth make maternal death more likely. Studies have shown that technological interventions like C-sections greatly increase risk of maternal death. One would have to conclude then that other factors play a bigger role in these better outcomes. We have significantly more knowledge, better hygiene practices, and take better care of ourselves physically, nutritionally, and emotionally. We now know not to smoke and drink during pregnancy, for example.

We know that infection and sepsis, accounting for 13% of maternal deaths, can be prevented with good sanitation. Another 13% of maternal deaths are the result of complications from abortion. Another 20% of maternal deaths are from indirect causes, which are also less likely in our country due to better nutrition, sanitation, and overall healthiness. The remaining 55% of deaths are caused by preeclampsia, hemorrhage, obstructed labor, and other causes such as embolisms. I can't examine those "other" causes, being that there are so many--too many to list and cover! We can, however, take a peek at these more common complications.

A significant number of deaths are because of hemorrhage, which is extensive bleeding. Risk of hemorrhage can be lowered by being well-nourished, breastfeeding after birth, avoiding blood-thinning medication, and birthing at home. Hemorrhage is three times more likely to occur in the hospital. It is even more likely after a C-section or pitocin. Hemorrhage can be treated adequately at home with many herbs, uterine massage, the trendelenberg position, urinating often, and oxygen administration. Sometimes medication or surgery is needed, which requires a hospital. While hemorrhage causes about 17% of maternal deaths in the US, only 5% or less of women will be afflicted with postpartum hemorrhage. Most cases occur after hospital births, particularly interventionist ones--which proves that death because of hemorrhage can't always be prevented.

Maternal deaths are much more likely to occur in the hospital than at a homebirth. This is because risky intervention and hindering restrictions are more common in the hospital. The interventions that are heralded as the reason for our lower MMR actually increase the risk of maternal death. Complications are less likely to occur in homebirth, as the environment and approach are different. Many complications can be treated at home with women very rarely needing to transfer to the hospital. A midwife is as capable as a doctor, and an educated mother can be just as capable as a midwife. The hospital is as available to homebirthers and freebirthers as it is to anyone, and they can transfer if necessary--usually in plenty of time to save all lives involved.

The risk of maternal death is very low in the US anyway, because our standard of living is so much better. Not only does birthing at home in and of itself put a mother at a lower risk of death, it also means a lower risk of postpartum depression. The babies are usually much healthier after homebirths and freebirths. The experience is usually much more enjoyable to everyone, not nearly as traumatic (or as expensive). Homebirthers & freebirthers are protecting themselves from the interventions that make maternal death more likely, while still on the lookout for complications that could put them at risk. They are not thrill-seekers, as these birth choices are no more risky than any other type of birth. In fact, they may very well be more safe.

Pasted from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/326842/childbirth_is_safe_...

Unassisted Childbirth: What If Something Goes Wrong?
April 28, 2007 by
Heather B.

This is the number one question people ask about unassisted birth. Even those who are planning one worry about this. The truth is that 90% of labors will be complication-free. For every 1,000 live births, only 6.50 infants will die in the first year of life. This includes SIDS, accidents, adverse reactions to vaccines, preemies, etc. The chances of your infant dying are very low. The stillbirth rate in the US is 1 in 115 births, a little less than 1%. The main causes are infection, defects, retarded growth, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, maternal drug use, postdate pregnancy, physical trauma, placental abruption, radiation poisoning, Rh disease, and umbilical cord accidents. Few deaths occur due to problems during labor & delivery.

Many people assume that if a woman's baby dies during an unassisted birth, it is her fault for not having had a doctor on hand. This is completely untrue. Most infants that die at home would have died in the hospital anyway. The vast majority of stillbirths occur in utero before labor begins. Many are related to problems that can't be treated, only managed--or that can't be managed at all. Even prenatal care will not save an infant from dying in utero. A doctor is likely to recommend preterm birth if an infant's life seems to be in danger during the pregnancy, which is usually equally dangerous for the infant.

There are times when probably arise during labor that can threaten the life of the child. Some of these can be handled at home, and some will need hospital treatment. Mothers learn to recognize these conditions, handle them, and know when to go to the hospital. These labor complications are just as likely to cause death in a hospital as they are in the home, so long as the mother has done her research. Most problems can be handled by a mother simply following her instincts. Rarely does a death occur because of the mother's actions, but because of things that are out of her (or anyone else's) control.

In the hospital, the only sign that a fetus is in danger is discolored amniotic fluid or decelerations in the fetal heart rate. These signs can be recognized at home, too. A mother is perfectly capable of telling if her amniotic fluid is green. She can listen with a Doppler or fetoscope, and if something seems wrong, she can go to the hospital--calling ahead to warn them. It usually takes 15 minutes to prepare for a C-section in the hospital. If they are preparing while the mother is on her way, they can C-section her as soon just moments after her arrival. Sometimes, it will be too late--but this could happen even if she were in the hospital. Some mothers will not attempt an unassisted birth if the hospital is too far away for this reason.

One sign that something is wrong is excess bleeding during or after labor. This could mean problems with the placenta, such as placenta accreta or placental abruption, which puts the child in danger of oxygen deprivation and the mother in danger of hemorrhage. It could also mean that the mother is already hemorrhaging and could bleed to death. If it occurs during labor, a mother should go to the hospital. She should not take any blood thinning medication for pain. There are herbs that can be used to help manage the bleeding. If it occurs after birth, the mother may be hemorrhaging. Many cases can be handled, again, with herbs and maternal rest. If the bleeding is severe or continues, if the mother begins to seizure or feel faint, she should be taken to the emergency room immediately.

Placenta previa is a condition in which the placenta covers the cervix, blocking the baby's exit. The mother can usually feel during labor that the baby is not coming out. She can often feel the placenta during a vaginal check. Spotting during pregnancy can be a sign that the placenta is covering the cervix. This can also be spotted by listening with a Doppler or fetoscope. A mother can learn to differentiate between heartbeat, cord sounds, and placental sounds. She can also palpitate her stomach to feel the location of the placenta. Most of the time the mother will be aware of this condition before labor begins. This is a condition that will require a C-section. It affects about 0.5% of all labors and is not an emergency. Mothers are more likely to hemorrhage with this condition, but usually the baby is delivered fine by C-section.

Another labor emergency is cord prolapse, when the cord is presenting before the infant. If the mother can feel the cord at her cervix, or if it drops into the birth canal before the baby, she is going to need a C-section. The cord can become compressed, cutting
off the oxygen supply to the infant. She should try to push the umbilical cord back inside her. An ambulance should be called. She should lay back on her elbows, with her legs and backside elevated as far as possible. This position will utilize gravity to keep the baby from pressing down on the cord. If birth is imminent, and the baby is coming out, she should continue delivering. Otherwise, she needs to wait for the ambulance and go to the hospital for a C-section.

Shoulder dystocia occurs when the baby becomes stuck in the birth canal, his shoulders refusing to come past the pelvis. The baby is at risk of fetal distress, because the cord may become compressed and deprive the child of oxygen. This should be handled as quickly as possible but is no reason to panic. Many times the baby can be dislodged if the mother changes position: squats, rolls around a little, stands up, gets on her hands and knees, or just moves her body sharply. She can lay on her back and flex her legs to her shoulders, which widens the pelvis. If this does not work, someone can attempt to gently dislodge the baby. Hands should be placed on the shoulders, and the baby should be turned gently--sort of corkscrewed out. Another method is to try to dislodge one shoulder, then the next. The attendant can also squeeze the shoulders trying to make them a little smaller. If this fails, someone should call 911 while the mother continues trying to deliver. This is usually resolved without need of a C-section, but it can become an emergency--even in the hospital.

Another common question asked is: What if the baby isn't breathing? If the baby is purple, red, or pink, or pale, keep the child warm. Hold him skin to skin. Talk to her. Rub his back to stimulate him. Lay her face down over her thigh with her bum higher than her head to facilitate mucous drainage. Give her a moment. If she doesn't perk up, begin administering CPR if she does not start breathing. Flicking the feet, applying a cayenne tincture on the lips, or even giving the baby a good hard slap can help her breath. If the baby is pale blue, white, limp, or seems almost dead, suction the nose, start CPR, and call 911. Many mothers rent an oxygen tank so they can give the child oxygen if necessary.

An inverted uterus is rare. It occurs when the uterus inverts and comes down the birth canal after the baby. This can be solved by balling your hand up into a fish, gently sticking it into the vagina, and pushing the uterus back up past the cervix. This is very painful. Inverted uterus increases the mother's risk of hemorrhage. Mothers suffering this complication should go to the hospital.

If there is meconium in the water or if the water is discolored, your baby is at an increased risk of infection. However, this is not a guarantee that anything is wrong. The baby should be born and washed up. If he seems to need medical attention, take him to a clinic right away. This is not a complication or emergency. With treatment after birth, the baby should be fine even if he did inhale a little meconium.

Most people are afraid that the cord will be around the baby's neck. This is not an emergency, and it's not uncommon! The cord is around the neck about 30% of the time. Usually it causes no damage and is loose enough that the mother can simply unwind it, or somersault the baby out of the cord as he emerges. If it is tight enough, it may be cutting off the baby's oxygen supply. In this situation the parents would cut the cord and then push the baby out as quickly as possible. Many unassisted birth stories include the mother mentioning that she had to unwind the cord from around the child's neck. My own son was born with his cord loosely around his neck. The doctor simply cut it, and that was it! The cord shouldn't be cut unless necessary though, as it keeps providing oxygen to the infant.

Tearing is less common at home in the hospital but can occur anyway. Most tearing is mild and will heal on its own. Many mothers handle severe tearing by holding the skin together and applying superglue. However, some mothers do have severe tearing that heals all on its own. The mother can go to the hospital for stitches if she likes, but this is no reason to panic.

Many things we perceive as complications are just normal events that aren't extremely common. Many events during the labor can be handled by a mother on her own, and she can even learn to evaluate her risks of complications. Most mothers will solve these problems using what they've learned by researching and by relying on their instincts. Many times, if a mother's actions cannot save the child's life, neither would the doctors except in rare situations (birth defects, premature birth, etc). There are true emergencies that do require hospital and even C-section delivery. Mothers planning an unassisted birth learn to recognize these emergencies and know how to handle them. They also know when they should and should not attempt to deliver their baby at home. The simple answer to the question "What if something goes wrong?" is "The birthing couple will be prepared to handle it."

Pasted from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/223018/unassisted_childbir...

Common fears about/of childbirth

Baby not Breathing
A common fear of homebirth whether it is unassisted or not, is that the baby will have breathing problems.

After a baby is born, they start undergoing the transition from dependence on the placenta to dependence on lung breathing for oxygen. This may take up to 7 minutes to establish proper breathing for some babies. Other babies start breathing regularly immediately.

It is vital that the umbilical cord is NOT CUT until the baby is breathing fine and the placenta has been birthed or the cord is limp, cold and white. The cord and placenta are a source of oxygenated blood for the baby even though it may appear to have stopped pulsing.

Establishment of Newborn Breathing
The physiological event of how newborn babies start to breathe on their own has nothing to do with the need for air, and if oxygen flow was restricted, the baby would start gasping for air from body reflex due to high carbon dioxide levels. (You can see this if you pinch, clamp or cut the cord right after birth - DON'T DO THIS!!)

The actual reason babies start breathing is thought to be a combination of biochemical changes and physical stimuli - cold, gravity, pain, light, noise, etc which cause excitation of the respiratory centre.

This may be a reason water birthed and some home birthed babies do not always start breathing immediately but take a couple of minutes before their first breath. See the Ennings modified APGAR for waterbirthed babies here.

It is normal to breathe on and off until the switch over from uterus environment to breathing with lungs is complete - this can take anywhere from 1 minute to 7 minutes for normal breathing patterns. Before breathing can even occur, the baby needs natural drainage of his/her airways - if laid on the mother with the head below the body, all the gunk will either be swallowed, coughed or sneezed or otherwise drained out.
An excerpt from "Emergency Childbirth: A Manual" by Dr. Gregory White; [I have this whole manual and plan to share some exerpts from it]
"The normal baby is pink or purplish, has a good deal of tension in his muscles, tends to hold his arms and legs rather stiffly, and resists external efforts to move them. He will make a face when his face is touched. If held with the face down and to the side as previously described, to allow him to cough out any mucus that may be in his throat, and stimulated gently by rubbing of the attendant's hand up and down his spine, the normal baby will breathe and cry within 3 or 4 minutes and can be put aside in a safe place while the attendant returns to the care of the mother.

The baby who is born pale, pale blue, or white, and limp, with no expression in the face, no movements in the limbs, no tendency to resist outside efforts to move his arms and legs - this baby is already seriously embarrassed and may need help in breathing.

This baby's mouth should be wiped out with a clean cloth to start with. Some high ranking experts in the field believe that this is all that can or should be done. They have reasons for thinking that any baby who can take his first breath will do so; that any baby who can not draw the first breath himself cannot have it done for him.

Mouth to mouth artificial respiration, recommended by the American Red Cross is also suitable if the attendant is trained in this method as applied to infants.

In the occasional case where the baby fails to rally, other methods would not be more likely to produce success.

Meconium in Waters
The appearance of meconium in the amniotic fluid is due to the baby adapting to low oxygen supply by eliminating waste from the bowels so that oxygen supply can be re-routed to more vital organs such as the heart, brain etc.

It can also be due to a breech presentation and stimulation of the buttocks by the pelvic floor muscles.
In itself, meconium does not mean fetal distress or that there is a problem. It is simply a physiological defense mechanism of the baby in response to low oxygen supply - something that occurs during the childbirth process.

In the medical model of childbirth care, there is a misconception that meconium in the waters presents a danger to the baby due to MAS - meconium aspiration syndrome where the baby inhales meconium. New research suggests that meconium is not the cause of MAS.

Suctioning due to Meconium
The practice of suctioning the mouth and throat of the baby after the head is birthed is is now considered useless.

The routine intubation and suction of the trachea just after birth in the case of meconium staining has been shown to confer no benefit.
Other Resources
Have the year 2000 neonatal resuscitation program guidelines changed the delivery room management or outcome of meconium-stained infants?
CONCLUSIONS:Since the implementation of year 2000 NRP guidelines, the rate of DR INT for tracheal suctioning has fallen significantly without a change in overall respiratory complications. Results of this study support the efficacy of year 2000 NRP recommendations.
Oropharyngeal and nasopharyngeal suctioning of meconium-stained neonates before delivery of their shoulders: multicentre, randomised controlled trial Lancet 2004
"Interpretation Routine intrapartum oropharyngeal and nasopharyngeal suctioning of term-gestation infants born through MSAF does not prevent MAS. Consideration should be given to revision of present recommendations."
Meconium Isn't the Problem; Induction Is - by Gail Hart of www.midwiferyeducation.org
Meconium (mec) is not a problem- unless mec is a symptom of severe distress. And then the problem is the distress- not the mec. With good fetal heart tone and a normal labor, even thick mec is rarely a problem.

Meconium is more common in labors which are induced, by any and all means of induction, and it's debatable whether mec is even more common in post-dates labors since induction is often a confounding factor. I recently came across a study (as follows) that looks at the liklihood of whether heavy mec is actually a risk for meconium aspiration. It's older, but large- it looks at almost a thousand babies with "thick or moderate meconium". All sorts of things were found to contribute to the rate of mec; but only a couple babies out of a hundred actually developed meconium aspiration syndrome- MAS- even though the entire group had mec (39 out of 937).
Induction was a strong link to both meconium waters and to meconium aspiration syndrome- but (and this surprised everyone) POSTDATES was not found to be a factor in the babies who developed MAS: MAS was distributed equally among all gestation groups. MAS was correlated with thick mec primarily when there were other risk factors present- need for resucitation, poor heart tones, or ceserean delivery.
Induction of labor was the strongest association with MAS. We know that we see more mec in induced babies, and we know we see more MAS in induced babies. A logical guess may be that we see more mec in post-dates babies simply because post-dates babies are far more likely to be induced than are 40 week babies.
This study confirms what most of us have seen: that meconium is "rarely a problem"- even when it is thick.
No Benefit Seen With Suctioning During Birth of Meconium-Stained Neonates SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters Health) Feb 11, 2003
Suctioning during delivery of infants who present with meconium staining apparently does not prevent meconium aspiration syndrome. These findings, presented at the meeting of the Society for Maternal-Fetal Medicine, contradict current practice guidelines.

Lead study author Dr. Edgardo Szyld, of the Hospital Diego Paroissien in Buenos Aires, Argentina, believes that "we should consider revising the current recommendations" of suctioning these infants during delivery.

A total of 2514 infants with meconium-stained amniotic fluid were randomized to oro- and nasopharynx suctioning or to no suctioning just before delivery of the shoulders. Of those infants suctioned, 3.5% developed meconium aspiration syndrome (MAS), as did 3.6% of those not suctioned. Five newborns died in the suctioned group, and three in the group not suctioned.

No differences between the two groups were observed in the frequency of thick meconium, C-sections or need for resuscitation.

A single study back in the 1970s was the foundation for the recommendation of suctioning when meconium staining is evident, Dr. Szyld said. Recommendations to suction, set forth by the American Academy of Pediatrics and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) makes the practice "widespread--and it's done around the world."

However, he said, the current study shows that suctioning before the shoulders are delivered does not prevent meconium aspiration or its complications.

"The data presented by Dr. Szyld's team provides convincing evidence that suctioning probably does not" alter outcomes, Dr. Laura E. Riley, chair of ACOG's Committee on Obstetric Practice, told Reuters Health.

"Because suctioning has been beaten into clinicians for so many years, I'm not sure the current findings are really going to change clinical practice," Dr. Riley said. "Still, I think the findings may provide some reassurance to clinicians that when meconium aspiration syndrome occurs it probably didn't have anything to do with how adequately the infant was suctioned."

While Dr. Riley believes that the researchers succeeded in showing that suctioning is probably unnecessary, she said they didn't address "whether suctioning may actually have harmful effects, such as causing facial trauma."

Bleeding & Post Partum Haemorrhage
After birth, there should not be much bleeding at all. A steady stream of blood with no appearance of the placenta is usually a sign that there is something wrong.

When the placenta initially separates, there is what is called a "separation gush" - this is anywhere from a few tablespoons to a half a cup of blood that emerges as the placenta detaches. Other than the separation gush, there should be no gushes at all when you are lying or sitting still.

There will be small gushes from pooled blood in the vagina after being still for a period of time. This is okay and somewhat like the small gushes that pad-wearing women get during their periods when standing after sitting for a period of time.
How Much is Too Much?
More than 500ml of blood (more than 2 cups) at once is considered too much by many homebirth midwives, and this excessive bleeding is called postpartum haemorrhage or PPH.

Keep in mind too that there might be some amniotic fluid as well, mixed in with the blood. Symptoms that a mother may experience with extreme blood loss are; fast pulse, light-headedness, shortness of breath, weakness, feeling faint, sick or 'off'. Towards the extreme end of the scale, mothers may pass out from blood loss and it is best to take steps before this starts occurring.

Fear and adrenaline causes your heart rate to go up, which causes you to bleed more!

Feeling tired after giving birth is normal since it can require some physical exertion for some women, but feeling sickened, weird, wrong or "out of it" is not normal, and is not always due to blood loss. Feeling like that is a very good indication that something adverse has just happened and to keep a close eye on your body's cues.
Understanding Why Bleeding Occurs
The mother's body pumps blood through the many small blood vessels that connect the placenta to the wall of her uterus. That blood gets cycled through the placenta, and into the baby via the umbilical cord. In normal births, the uterus clamps down and closes those small blood vessels after the placenta detaches.

Preventive Measures:
Bleeding & Haemorrhage (PPH)
Preventive measures you can take during pregnancy, labour/birth, and afterwards to prevent or avoid bleeding problems.

Preventive Measures to take in Pregnancy
Good Iron & Vitamin C Intake: Since anaemia can contribute to PPH and excessive bleeding or severe problems due to blood loss, maintaining a good iron intake is important. In the second half of pregnancy, towards the third trimester, there is an increase in blood volume and because of this, the iron found in the blood is diluted which affects iron level tests.

As long as you feel your iron intake is healthy, and you are not anaemic, there is no need for iron supplementation which are not always good for the body.

The best sources of iron are found in dark green leafy vegetables, liver, heart and beets. Blackstrap molasses is also a good vegetarian source of iron.

Drinking a tea of yellow dock root, nettles, dandelion and kelp will provide you with an excellent source of iron that is readily absorbed by your body. If there are concerns about anaemia, take yellow dock root tincture daily, three times a day.

Also if you're concerned about iron and are intent on improving your iron levels, take vitamin c (sodium absorbate) to aid absorption.

If you are taking too much vitamin C, your body will let you know by giving you the runs (diarrhoea!), just cut back the dosage gradually and in increments until your stools firm up, then continue at that dosage.

Good Vitamin K Intake: In the third trimester, be aware of your vitamin K intake and try and eat lots of Vit. K rich foods. This nutrient aids blood clotting, controls bleeding and is beneficial for the baby's stores of Vitamin K.

Red Raspberry Leaf, Nettles & Alfalfa: This taken in either the tea, tablet or extract form daily from 32 weeks on, helps to tone the uterus and strengthen it. A finely toned uterus makes it easier for the uterus to do its work in clamping down on those open blood vessels after the placenta has detached.

Those herbs help to prevent PPH, bleeding, provide lots of valuable nutrients needed by the pregnant woman and support the pregnancy. Those three herbs are often taken with dandelion as well which helps with water retention.

Preventive Measures to take in Labour
Urinate Often: A full bladder can hinder labour and birth, as well as prevent the uterus from clamping down during the third stage.

Avoid Excessive Pushing: Avoid excessive or forced pushing, and breath-holding. This can rupture tiny blood vessels in the mother's body, damage the placenta, tire out the uterus, and even cause bloodshot eyes! There is no need to push if you are having a natural labour and birth - your body will do it gently for you.

Avoid Epidurals & Other Drugs: There are many side effects to drugs whether they be for pain or for augmenting labour. Some of those effects can directly damage how the birthing process was designed to work, and can cause problems that lead to more intervention or excessive bleeding or PPH.

Have a Natural, Intervention/Interference-free birth: This is a good start to ensuring that the birthing process goes as it should.

Be Calm: Remember that fear and adrenaline causes rapid heartbeat/pulse, having the fear hormones cycling in your body as you give birth or afterwards can cause you to bleed more than you need to.


Preventive Measures to take After Birth
Breastfeed your Baby: Breastfeed your baby as soon as possible after birth. The sucking reflex is strongest in the first hour and will not be as strong again until a few hours after birth. As soon as your baby will take your breast, breastfeed! This will tell your body that the baby is out and breastfeeding safely. Natural oxytocin is released into your body and your uterus contracts down. If the placenta is still attached, this tells your body that it is OK to release the placenta.

Have a Physiological Third Stage: Be patient and wait for your placenta to detach and come out. Do not force or hurry it out. Do not clamp or cut the cord until after the placenta is birthed (or go for a lotus birth!)

Eat the Placenta!: Yes, I know it sounds disgusting but it works. This is one of the BEST ways to tell your body the placenta is out and to STOP pumping blood into it. You don't even have to eat it. Just hold a piece of placenta under your tongue or in your cheek.

You can chew it or swallow it whole, or simply hold it in your mouth until the bleeding slows down. Eating the placenta will provide you with a huge hit of energy, nutrients, stop PPH and PPD (post-partum depression) dead in their tracks. Animals eat theirs!

Urinate!: If the placenta is slow in coming out or you feel you are bleeding too much, go and pee!

Don't Bleed!: I'm actually serious here. Don't bleed. Tell yourself that everything is fine and that you will not bleed. Once you birth the placenta, tell your body to stop bleeding immediately. Visualise the small vessels closing inside you and no bleeding.

Periniums & Tears

If you have torn, be reassured in knowing that tears heal quicker and easier than the cut of an epistomy, WITHOUT needing stitching. Most tears involve less tissue damage, are less painful and do not often go very deep; Many tears won't need stitching as the jagged ends knit well together.

[goes on to list home remedies for pain and healing]

These are just a few examples, but there are many more. There are actually very few reasons to need to transfer to a hospital.