A New Identity -- Church-goer?

I was the kid who never questioned why my parents divorced, or ever wondered why they couldn't be together. I knew. I couldn't imagine my parents together -- they were so different. For example, my mom was a tree-hugging dirt worshipper (she practiced Witchcraft), and my dad was a Pentecostal preacher. My mom didn't tell me, for many years, about her faith (for fears concerning custody with my dad). I just knew that she kindly declined going to church, even though my stepmom told me how important it was to get her to go. Witchcraft and other Pagan beliefs are so different in that aspect -- don't find too many Pagan missionaries :)) Well, my mom finally told me everything she had been holding on to the year I came home from my dad's talking about how evil gay people were, that they were going to hell -- repeating what I'd heard in a recent sermon by my dad. My mom and I had a long good talk then :) It changed my life. But it didn't change my dad's stance on my attending church -- he made me and my siblings go every Sunday, regardless. Regardless of the fact that he knew it was not MY church -- my faith was different. I built up a very strong resentment of going to church -- so much so that I started not even wanting to visit my dad, or planning my visits to avoid Sundays. At one point I remember thinking to myself, "If I don't want to be here, what does he REALLY think I am going to get out of this?"

It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much my identity is based upon not being a church-goer. Although I don't identify as the anti-Christian I once did, I have to admit that I have grown fond of the quiet Sunday mornings in the city. I expect stores and restaurants to be less crowded, and I don't own any clothes that could pass as "Sunday best". I know my daughter's friends won't be knocking on my door or ringing my doorbell until well after noon on Sundays. The only regular thing we do (so far) on a certain day of the week is our radical unschooling parkday, which, I assure you, looks nothing like a church sermon LOL It goes even deeper, but I can't find the words to explain how far-removed I am from the ritual of Sunday church.

So, what, you may ask, could draw me out of this long-held, very comfortable place? Unitarian Universalist. My family has been drawn toward wanting some spiritual growth in life, as well as community. I first heard of UU from a dear atheist liberal friend, who could not say enough wonderful things about it. I had heard there was one about 30 minutes or so from us, and I kept wanting to check it out, but I knew I couldn't commit to such a long drive every week. Then a friend told me there was one in my neighboring city. Well, after my Goddess awakening, I looked into it. I devoured their website. Things like this:

Unitarian Universalism is a caring, open-minded religion that encourages you to seek your own spiritual path. Our Faith draws on many religious traditions, welcoming people with different beliefs. We are united by shared values, not by creed or dogma. Our congregations are places where people gather to nurture their spirits and put their faith into action by helping to make our communities—and the world—a better place.


Unitarian Universalists (UUs) are committed not only to spiritual growth and transformation but also to involvement in the world. Social justice, sustainable living, ethical treatment of animals are just a few of things we work toward.

You can see how this fits into my values... So, after devouring the website, I knew that this place held my ideals, and I looked forward to going to the church to see how it felt in person. Honestly, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to stomach the "church"-likeness of it. But the rituals felt so earth- and natural-centered. And they took long pauses in between the "God-free" wisdom the minister (a woman with at least one tattoo) shared about the cycle of life (entitled "New Beginnings", and concluding a 2-part piece -- the 1st half entitled "Letting Go"). And people said "Namaste" and "Blessed be". They sat with their hands in the OM position to soak in the words and the silence. These were my people! I felt so at home, tears, literally, filled my eyes. Home? Church? Yes... I saw people who looked like me and knew I wasn't different, that my kids weren't going to be different for their non-Christian, but spiritual beliefs. My oldest could sort out her own path of believing in a God bt not quite feeling like Christianity was the right fit for her.

I want to conclude with a song that we sang, an affirmation that I want to revisit very often (maybe every day?)...

May I be filled with loving kindness

May I be well

May I be filled with loving kindness

May I be well

May I be peaceful and at ease

May I be whole

May you be filled with loving kindness

May you be well

May you be filled with loving kindness

May you be well

May you be peaceful and at ease

May you be whole

May we be filled with loving kindness

May we be well

May we be filled with loving kindness

May we be well

May we be peaceful and at ease

May we be whole

Namaste, Dear Reader.



I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas

So! This was the first year that we bought a tree that wasn't still rooted, in my attempt to focus on the holiday spirit this year, and to not be unrealistic about the continued care for a rooted tree (we've lost 2 now).

But, now that the holiday is over, this tree is just standing in my living room, waiting. I didn't quite know what to do with it, so we were all just waiting. It seems wasteful and uncaring to discard of a tree that grew for years and gave its life for our holiday enjoyment -- 3 weeks, that's it? So, it sat. I thought. I lived. I got an email, my friend's blog posts, from her business and her personal blog. MB is one of my favorite people in the whole world! And these posts were some of my favorite blog entries I've ever read. I continued living life, feeling uber-inspired by the ins and outs of a "zero landfill" concept. Suddenly, ah-ha! Solution to my tree delima!

Let me back up... I decided on a homemade holiday this year. I handmade some pretty cool things, often to replace stuff I had bought but now wasn't feeling anymore. Did you see the tree skirt I made in the pic above? I bought some stuff to make some ornaments, and I made a star to top our tree from the branches that I trimmed off the bottom of the tree.

It is wrapped with lavender hemp, silver wire, and natural hemp. I just love the shape, and I love even more that it came from the tree itself :) So, I have decided to trim all the branches off the tree and use them to make decorations, either to sell next year or to decorate our new tree with next year or to send to loved ones as a gift. And then we can saw the trunk, dry the wood, and use them for a fire next winter holiday :)) I was thinking of a few ideas. First, I was thinking it would be a perfect Yule log, since we can "piggyback" on the emotional attachment to this tree that brought us such love and enjoyment this year. Then, I thought how cool it would be to have a countdown to Yule with the logs, or maybe light one every night between Yule and Christmas, or something. Some new tradition that we can start :)) I love the idea that this tree is being appreciated SO much and that I have not been careless with it's life. Trees get cut down for firewood, right? So, here we are :)))

I've got so many wonderful plans for a greener Christmas next year :)) Cloth wrapping "paper" (this year we spent the bulk of our budget on holiday stuff, instead of presents, so we did a homemade stocking for each of my kids), more natural homemade stuff (like these ornaments), donations in people's honor -- the sky's the limit! The funniest part is that I will be making stuff for weeks after the actual holidays :)) I still need to make a paper bead garland for my tree and finish harvesting this tree and making the ornaments -- in fact, I still have some ornaments that need to be beaded and my homemade holiday cards (that we spent weeks making) to send out! LOL I was thinking about "we are early for next year", but I think I'm gonna go with "better late than never" :))

Please share some ideas you have for a greener winter holiday -- I can't be green enough! :))

The Birth of a New Year

After my deep and dark retreat before the winter solstice, I feel big pregnant with ideas of ways to organize, simplify, change, and enjoy my life. The new year is a natural time for me to put particular energy toward certain things for my life, so maybe that is where the idea of "new years resolutions" came into being?

The new year is like a new birth for me: full of opportunities and potential for limitless self and life design. I am really feeling birth analogies these days, btw. Life is a constant cycle of birth, life, death, rebirth. Exciting.

Usually, when I am designing my "new year's resolutions", I divide "me" up into my roles (parent, student, employee, family member, friend, etc.), and I decide what about each of those parts could use some revamping. Sometimes, I will search through old "new year resolutions" to pick apart the different areas or ways of dividing and defining myself, to get the most out of my new opportunity for growth.

This year, I am going a bit more organic, seamless, grassroots. I'm just looking at my life and seeing what needs some change or growth. This year, my areas of life are: me, family & home, tribe & community, and earth. And here are some of the ways I want to live in each of those areas in this new year :)

Me: me time weekly, crafty and creative even more, read books, commitment to honesty (frankness) to myself and others particularly when it is uncomfortable, slow and gradual living and changing, try interests I've been holding onto and not doing, spiritual growth, Operation Beautiful (more on that later), and staying consistant with my blogs.

Family & Home: harmony, spiritual growth, strewing/learning opportunities, finances, clean home and van, order to the current chaos (like a loose schedule -- more on that later, too), involve kids more in decisions, and organize, simplify, and beautify our home and ourselves.

Tribe & Community: attend the local Unitarian Universalist church, join Spiral Scouts (or some equivalent of a group to meet with every week for a shared purpose), more involvement with our radical unschooling group, and connect more with loved ones.

Earth: baby steps toward sustainable living, and activism through sharing info on my blogs.

After I decide on some goals, I think of methods to attain each goal. This year, I went quite wild with the details. I won't share everything, but I will share some examples of the details, because I am particularly excited about how I found ways to make things work and thought of them myself :))

First of all, I took some vague bits, like "organize, simplify, and beautify home & self" and picked each bit apart, by making a 3 x 2 matrix.  So, ideas for organizing home, organizing self, simplifying home, simplifying self, beautifying home, and beautifying self.

Also, I made bucket lists for some things, like the interests I want to finally try, strewing opportunities, things I can do to intentionally feel more beautiful, ways to live more sustainably, ways to simplify and organize my finances, etc.

The one I am most excited about (and ties it all together) is finding "order in the current chaos (a loose schedule)". I am always trying to find a way of organizing some structure in a way that it works and will last, and I have yet to find a way, until (possibly) today. I have tried a checklist (like a chore chart). I have tried a monthly, weekly, and daily schedule (grid style). I have tried using a dry-erase board. I have tried using an app or 2 on my iPhone. Today, I made 3 sections: monthly, weekly, and daily, and I listed things that I would like for us to do as often in each category. THEN, I looked back on my list of "me, family & home, tribe & community, and earth" and fit each important thing into those "monthly, weekly, and daily" lists of things to do. So, for example...

• Once a month my family is going to have a pow-wow to discuss decisions for the family and home (like the next month's budget, changes in interactions between family members, ideas for a big strewing opportunity we will do each month, etc.), I want to do a big project for the home (organize the garage, scan and discard photographs, etc.), take a step toward living more sustainably, shampoo the carpets, go to the library, send pictures to internet-less family, etc.
• Once a week, I want to go for a family walk or bike ride, go to the YMCA for some me-time/exercise while babies play in the childcare there, post a blog post, do a big messy art project, clean the house and van, etc.
• And every day I want to have cuddle time with each of my children, do something intentional to feel beautiful, meditate, eat something uber-nourishing (somedays it is rocky road ice-cream, and some days it is a green machine Naked juice -- hope you get the point of "nourishment"), mop my tile floors, nurse my children in a state of complete presence, and spend 15 minutes (at least) learning or trying something new ("15 minutes of strewing", I'm calling it), etc. 

It is worth mentioning that all of these things can be done more often that the category they are listed under (monthly, weekly, daily) -- I just hope to do them at least as often as the original plan :)

After I filled and organized the "monthly, weekly, and daily" lists to my heart's content, I made a list of ways I could make those lists physical in my life. What I want ends up being a delicate balance between structure & thoroughness and flexibility & simplicity. Currently, I have decided to print out the lists and just check in on them throughout the day to see what I might feel ready to do next. The lists are full of things that will make me feel nourished and accomplished, but if some things don't get done, whatever. Mostly, I want to live a slow-paced, rich and interesting, love- and joy-filled life with my children, and if we are accomplishing that without accomplishing everything on my lists, that's fine, too :))

I wanted to share some of my ways of organizing my plans for the new year and my fresh new structure, in case any of it appeals to you for your own life. I am also very interested in hearing what ways you synthesize and create structure in your life and schedule. Please feel free to share in the comments section below.

***note: my "u" button is not working very well, so if I missed a "u", hopefully it wasn't too confusing to see what word I was trying to type! :)