Rightness

Liberation, Stretch, Comfort, De-attach

When I look back on list of the themes of my last few years, I see how it looks like a fluid evolving of life and spirit. It didn't feel like it though. More like a deep and heavy submersion into growth of the unknown and just when I am about to drown or break, I scramble to the top to gulp the fresh crisp air of clarity and then dive down in a totally different direction for a new phase of experience. In the great walk of life, now I see the seamless evolution.

Liberation was when I cleared a huge space in my life, called "a relationship that I had gotten my fill from and was no longer working for us". When we walked in seperate directions, I did not feel like a woman scorned, I felt like a woman liberated! A big giant space in my life was cleared and healthy (because that beautiful relationship healed me and taught me in ways I never could have done alone ♥), and now I could go wild in my new-found freedom :)

And I did -- hence the stretch. The slow unfolding of understanding learning in a new paradigm. The stretch of self-trust through preparing for and experiencing my freebirth. The ferrel re-growth and awesome stretch of radical unschooling and consensual living and respectful connected parenting.
Then, in exhaustion from all the stretching and growing (OMG! Did I stretch and grow), I settled into comfort, like sinking into my favorite old worn couch, for a long winter's night with a mug of hot chocolate and my favorite music playing in the background.

And in that comfort, I realized there was no real comfort in drowing in stuff and over-responsibility, and that I had my fill of newly acquired agoraphobia. I released my attachment to a house (or a "lease-locked box on land that wasn't MINE"), a lifetime-acquired house full of stuff I loved and hated and often both simultaneously. Then I stepped into adventure and wound up releasing my attachment to control. Not done yet -- thick in the deconstruction and healing, I followed my calling to wear my deep inner cleansing outside by releasing my attachment to my hair and my long-constructed notion of my beauty. And now, I feel like a radiant monk ripe with readiness for the next powerful step in my life-healing journey: rightness.

Armed with the tools to enable myself to feel liberation, to stretch wildly, to find deep dark healing comfort, and dettach from what's no longer working, I am preparing for a journey to reflect, explore, and right the breadth and depths of things in my life that feel amiss. I have my work cut out for me. I'm going to be the chiropractor of my life and get myself aligned. And through this, I am going to grow (with my hair) in intention, so that when I step into my power (no doubt, my next step), I will not fear what will be magnified, what will explode from me, and where it will reach and take me. Thhis is the step I right the wrongs, seal the deal on peace with my past, and let go of the things that don't feel right to me in every area of me and my life. I am so grateful for this foundation I stand upon to do this -- I feel like I have the advantage and the warrior skills to defeat my foes... Wait, that's not right ;) I am a chiropractor, not a seasoned Amazon warrior LOL I've been reading too many historical romance novels these days :))

I am ready to step into rightness with my body, in parenting, in relationships, with money, with my future career goals, and so much I can't even see yet from my view of the valley outside my window. Yes, this is going to be an easy walk -- not those mountains I have beared through climbing in my past. This is just an adjustment into rightness.

This Amazon warrior monk gypsy goddess earthmama extraordinaire has bit more prep to do before I am ready to start this newest journey, including (are you ready for this?) a new name -- I know, you are so surprised ;) More on that later :)) I need to sit on it a bit more, feel it's rightness first :)

Another shocker -- my blog is getting a new name, too. This one is already determined. I'm just waiting to purchase the domain name before I share it with the world.

2012, I am SO effing ready for you!