taking leaps of faith like a badass

Hello, Darling ♥

I'm in one of those moods. One of those kinds where I feel fiercely authentic and over-ready for life alignment.

Feeling seriously brave today.

Brave enough to leap into my destiny fiercely knowing that it will all work out, that no fear is worth holding back and playing life small.

I am tired of not having a hOMe. I am ready to hOMestead. I am ready to gather an intentional community of soul sisters and soul brothers. I am ready for goats and chickens and farm structure building (motivated by Pinterest pictures of repurposed materials). I am ready for an earth-grounded home. I am ready to live sustainably. I am ready to grow a business, leveraging my incredible life experiences. I am ready to open up completely to abundance. I am ready to secure myself with a savings.

I am ready. I am ready. I am ready.

So, how does one take a leap of faith like a badass?

My formula goes a little something like this:

Know that this is your undeniable destiny. Especially having tried other things that didn't light you up and didn't fulfill you because they were not your calling.

Tune in to your needs. What do you absolutely need? Make sure you have that, and be incredibly open and creative about how that can fit with your destiny. Ask yourself every moment how you need to be cared for - self-care enables you to show up ready for anything you are undertaking.

Hold a vision. Know what it looks like, feels like, tastes like, sounds like, smells like. Engage in it's vividness. Grow a vision board or alter or journal or list dedicated to every soul-delicious details of your vision. Visit it daily, carry it in your back pocket. Align your whole life energy with it.

Gather a support group. Your biggest cheerleaders. The ones who believe in you. The ones who remind you why you are doing this when you have doubts. The ones who won't let you step away because you don't think you aren't brave enough. The net you fall into every time you trip (it's a new dance, tripping happens!). The sisters and brothers who sit with you on the floor and listen to your heart and hold hands together while you stand back up, sending you off again like a father giving his most heart-felt blessing.

Face your fears and ask each of them if they can stop you. Sometimes, this requires heaps of trust that the thing will just work out in some creative way. And also trusting that what you are stepping into is better than anything you are afraid of.

Let good-intentioned folks keep their own fears. Know that their fears are their own stuff coming up for them. It really has nothing to do with you, except that you became a mirror for them. But if their fears trigger you, take a peek at them and see if they truly are a concern of yours that you want to examine, or if you were just absorbing their fear-energy ♥ Do some energy clearing and send them love and blessings, and hope that you will be a great example for them to follow their own dreams. If a dream is so precious and vulnerable, sometimes I don't even tell people until I'm in the next step (below), so they can't try to stop me. This may be a part of your self-care. And never underestimate the power of simple Ho'oponopono.

Be so ready that nothing can stop you. Grow that momentum until it cannot be stopped. Until the brakes don't even work.

Race around at the last minute to get prepared. lol This just happens to me - it's not planned, just spontaneity at it's best :) Don't let "not being completely prepared" stop you - you can check stuff off your list en route. Because the next step is more important than this one.

Leave, leap, catapult, propel. Just take a step. Just keep stepping. Just do it. Before you know it, your past is in your rearview mirror and the wind is in your sails. You freaking did it!!!!!!!

SQUEEEEEEEEE your statuses on Facebook. :) Inspire others! Let them on the ride! Maybe it's just to your support group? Or maybe this helps you get clear about who you want on your friend's list at all?

Allow the swift and powerful flow. This is the part where you would be freaking out if you tried to slam on the brakes or put a foot down in a riding down the river analogy. Just ride the ride. The longer you can ride it, the further you will get into it. And the incredible lessons you will have will blow your old self away.

Sit with your butt on the earth. And allow your head to swirl in the flow. You can be grounded AND in the flow as the same time. I highly recommend it. It's been an integral part of the processing and integration of all that has and is happening, and the continued ability to allow the swift and powerful flow.

Stay present. You are no longer who you were. You stepped into the fire, and it burned off all the old outdated stuff. You are just here, just you now. No need to try to remember who you used to be or how you used to do things. Enjoy now.

Be a lighthouse. Let your story inspire others. Speak your truth about risk-taking and faith-leaping. Encourage others to follow their dreams. Become a part of their support group. A perpetuating circle.

Rinse and repeat. Your life has been INCREDIBLE. But someday, you may feel stuck again and ready for a new adventure. Do it.



All my love,

p.s. - If you want to connect deeper on this with me. I offer love + inspiration + insight + dream-manifesting consultation + big heaping waves of support + I believe in you. All for donation. For you. Yes, you. Whether you are brand new to my blog and to meeting me, or someone who has been following in silence for a long time. If you feel called toward me to help you through anything in your life, please connect with me. It is an honor and my absolute pleasure to connect with you. I don't turn anyone away ♥ ♥ ♥ Come ♥

life + getting real with abundance

Oh, my darling!

I know it has been so long ♥

Life gets so full and so busy, and my Facebook is all I can pour myself into sometimes.

We are not in a house yet.

We are still in a bit of flux.

Our main priority to find a house got sideswiped by baby goats.

 

 

 

 

11 babies ♥ 7 mamas ♥ 1 big loving man-boy ♥

My little family is still hOMestead-dreaming ♥

We have some idea of how we would love the rest of the year to unfold - something like the rest of the summer at my mom's farm with the goats, BurntWoodsStock, Rethinking Everything, and then the big move (again) to Oregon (finally). Where we will have our hOMestead and 3 of these babies to start our very own goat herd ♥

I have a soul-delicious goals list for this summer.

What I have leapt into has been creating financial abundance for my family.

I have been thinking business and planning business and designing products for business for years.

I decided to stop planning and just show up where I am and give all that I have and be very internally clear about being ready to receive.

I remembered the feel of the parks in Oregon, when we would just spread our quilt out on the grass and offered hair rope blessings for donation. Never any worries. Just giving, loving, receiving, trusting, being, enjoying.

So, I am using that model now.

Here I am. Just showing up to love you and give you whatever I feel called toward to give you, and trusting that what you feel called toward giving back will fulfill my family's need to thrive.

I have just begun coaching for donation, and it feels incredible.

We all have stuff that is just easier to work through with someone, and I am so honored to step into a space with you and do it.

I have been hearing SUCH great feedback, too! My loves have said they feel so much lighter and they appreciate the resources and wisdom I offer. We gush with love over each other a lot, too ;)

It is such an incredible thing to finally feel like I am putting into practice all this soul-deliciousness that I have been collecting and growing for so many years.

I started going to school to be a family counselor 12 years ago. I got my BA in psychology and was ready to get into a masters program, but I looked down at my newborn son and just couldn't leave him. So, I became a homemaker, and I fell in love with that job! I found unschooling about a year after that, and our life has just been an incredible adventure and personalization ever since.

But here I am. Able to find a way to offer the healing and help I knew I wanted to AND be a single stay-at-home mama to my babies. And you know what? I am POSITIVE that the last 7 years of living have provided a WAY richer curriculum than any masters program could have.

I'm so excited to get to draw from the deep well of our incredible life to give you my light and wisdom.

I have been talking a LOT about bliss on Facebook recently, and I created a tab here on my blog, to open up a space to grow some bliss-mongering ideas and also to share a pilot program I want to do.

I have been swelling my heart with beautiful graphics like these:

 

 

I have been thinking a lot about what makes life bliss, so I can help people find their own bliss. And I have been thinking a lot about over-delivering.

 

I was so afraid to give my all for free, out of fear that people wouldn't want to give me money for my work, so I could support my family.

 

What a silly fear! I have the most beautiful and supportive beloved tribe!!! Together, we can do this. Together, we can do anything. And we have already been talking about defying limits. It's been incredible.

 

And an AMAZING thing has happened since I started giving my best stuff away for free... Are you ready for this? I've gotten even better! Whew!! Who knew!!!! It has taken me farther and stretched me in new exciting ways. And I have more to give. And people have been giving me money, and my kids and I are actually even better off financially now than we were when I was worried about giving it away for free. Teehee!

 

I just threw "donation" out into the universe, and here we are. Abundance. This is it. I freaking feel it!! It's ecstatic! ♥

 

Abundance and I just got real. We sat down and had a chat. I said, "Hey, Universe. I've got these kids that just deserve better. It's unnatural to struggle for money - and I'm doin the work to release the limits I have adopted along my way -, but in the meantime, let's make money happen, okay? My family deserves it. Including me."

 

And voila! A huge space opened up where I could see a way. And here we are :))

 

So, that is pretty much where we are right now.

 

Just livin. Just learnin. Just showing up. Just giving my all to my people. Just dreamin super big and looking forward to not being afraid to manifest that bigness.

 

Will you join me?

 

I would love to connect with you, in your journey. I would love to hear if you resonate with any part of my journey. I would love to talk more - e-mail or on Facebook. I would love to sit with your wonderings and see what insight I feel drawn toward sharing with you.

 

I am still learning how to describe my style. I have a lot of cool analogies and some words that resonate. I hope you can feel my style and know if you feel drawn toward me, and if you do, e-mail me, message me on facebook - let's connect ♥ And we can connect hearts and play in some sacred heart space ♥

 

Let's do it. Let's just do it.

 

 

this new life

Hey, Beloved ♥

I'm still working on the moon intentions post, but  first, I just have to share how incredibly excited I am for this new chapter of our life.

It's been growing, and this morning it is bursting!

I remember living in our last little house and dreaming wildly about all of the incredible details of living on the road.

We got to live those.

I say that with so much gratitude and so much fullness in my heart.

And since we can't live on the road now, I am dreaming wildly of living in a little home-not-on-wheels again :)

For more of this hOMe eye-candy, come check out my Pinterest board

I'm excited about living in a house, in our own little house, or apartment. Some funky little spot that's gonna be just perfect for us.

I'm excited about things like my oldest having her own room and enabling her to get to decorate it (!!), and my little ones having a playroom filled with toys. I'm excited about finding furniture and filling our new home with things from the funky little thrift shops and yard sales of the sweet little beachy community we are heading to.

I'm excited about having a bookshelf again and filling it with a library of books about our favorite things, and baskets (!!!) overflowing with arts and crafting supplies again.

I'm excited about having plants all over my house and flowers outside.

I'm excited to have a kitchen where I can brew our own kombucha (I am currently growing our own scoby and gathering supplies to start our first batch this next week!!), and I can live and grow my family in a way that is more even aligned with my green-sustainable values, ways that we weren't able to do in the van.

I look forward to cooking and baking, to finding ways to nourish my whole family in our new food journey.

I look forward to easy daily rhythms of doing dishes and laundry and mopping floors.

Words cannot describe how excited I am to sew at will again. OH.MY.GOSH.

And garden and compost. Maybe backyard chickens.

I have been tucking all of my homestead favorites away in a hope chest in my heart, and now I get to unpack it. And I will have a big giant space in life to grow it all into!

And I will be close enough to visit my mommy and her goats and little farm every week. And we will be here when she is overloaded with goat babies in a couple months! OH.MY.CUTENESS.

I am excited about finding a T1 (type 1 diabetes) tribe in the beautiful little community we will be in. This community is my people - artsy, spiritual, beachy, hippies who have always melted me at parks and the library with the way they interact with their children ♥ A community of people who eat like we do and love like we do and share our values. This community healed me once before, and I look forward to it nourishing me while I start growing this new chapter of our new life.

I am excited about staying in this one community for longer than a few weeks, about knowing our way around to all the places and things that light us up - farmers markets, parks, the library, a sacred beach, women's circles, unschoolers.

I look forward to our beloveds coming to visit from all over the country. Come see us! Come stay with us now ♥

I'm excited about finding our way to still travel. Day trips. Long road trips. This gypsy spirit is not done, and we don't need to be. When we are ready, we will find a way to hit that road again.

And until we are ready, we have a whole life buffet before us in our new home, continuing to grow and live in the ways that nourish our hearts, our souls, our bodies. Ways that are authentic and intentional.

What an incredible, beautiful opportunity to get to live another part of our life that we love so much, too. A beautiful mash-up of gypsy and homestead.

Oh, I can't wait!!

Will you take that journey with me? ♥

Following my heart

This whole journey has been about following my heart.

It has been about listening to where I am being called, and following in trust and faith. 

And magic happens. 

When we showed up in Ashland, a beautiful family that we hadn't had the honor of meeting yet, invites us over, and we interconnected so well that they opened their campsite up to us, and we felt right at home, parking our little van home next to their violet love bug and Eco Tour bus ♥

They were an incredible family to be with. I can't believe how much love and fun was had ♥

And they gave us a homebase for the past week. 

And then we for called to the coast. And as soon as I visited my heart, I knew we were destined for Newport. 

One of my dearest soul sisters lives here, and I have been aching for 6 years (!!) to hug her and be with her in the flesh ♥ 

She was a part of my very first tribe ♥ And she has always remained in that special space in my heart for my tribe ♥

So, yesterday, we were at the park, and there was this funky folk couple performing with so much heart and fun. 

And every song they sang was a piece of my story. I cried with every song. It was so perfect. 

And when the crowd finally dissipated, I told them that their songs were moving me so much, that I was a single mama with 2 kids and I just left everything that wouldn't fit in my minivan and drove up here to Oregon to find a simple life and home for my family. 

They dedicated the next song to me, and it really made me cry. About trusting your heart and going when the wind blows. 

They were moved by my story, and they donated $20 to our journey. 

I get so full when I think about that. 

They were such a colorful and insightful piece to my journey, I had been wondering if I should give them some of the last of my money. 

I knew it would all work out. 

But I hadn't gone back to the van to do all that yet, and they beat me ♥

And the other part that knocks me down with a feather is how they were a perfect piece on my journey, showing me that I am on the right path. 

So, I trusted my heart this morning, and I took that $20 + my last $10, and I put them in my gas tank. 

It was 256 miles to Newport, and we had 257 (according to our van's estimation). 

So, we left. Guided by our calling. Guided by our heart.  

We knew we needed the ocean and cooler temperatures. 

I picked a route that took us along the coast without backtracking. 

As soon as we got off the main freeway I-5, and we got on the 138 scenic bypass, we knew this was exactly what we had done this for. 

The route was gorgeous, green, cooler. It followed a river, and the panoramic views literally took my breath away. 

We found a gorgeous little spot to pull over, and found a pathway down to a river!!!! 

It was the first time my kids had seen a river, and they couldn't wait to swim in it!! :))

They had so much fun!

And after a couple hours of soul-delicious spontaneous detour, we got back on that beautiful road and drove to some of our favorite songs and oohed and ahhhed and filled our cameras with hundreds of photos from our amazingly beautiful trip. 

Once we hit the coast, I was overflowing with excitement. Here we were. It was all meant to be. 

I had nourishing Oregon and my soul nourishing and beloved Pacific Ocean ♥ She was the reason we moved to Oregon instead of Colorado. 

She was so important. So sacred. And I had missed her. 

The coast in Oregon is more gorgeous and perfect to me than I had even imagined. 

Wildflowers met driftwood met the waves. Rocks everywhere. Freshwater creeks spilling out into her. 

This beach was very different than the beach I grew up next to. 

This one felt more interesting, with all the waterways and driftwood and rocks and cooler temperatures and lack of crowds. 

It was so so amazing. Words cannot find or explain. 

It was just perfect. A deep - "this is SOOOOOO gorgeous" "this is why I was called here" "I really freakin did it!"  

Yes. I cried ♥

This was it. 

This was what I was made for. 

No more feeling out of place. 

I was home. 

When we were leaving, Kass found a heart-shaped rock for me. 

Noble had found one for me at the lake in Ashland. 

I have a few from Encinitas. 

Hearts are kinda my favorite in life. I'm all about love. 

A friend of mine pointed out that these heart-shaped rocks are treasures from following my heart. 

Oh so true. 

Encinitas was my first heart-calling. Then Oregon (Ashland was our first official Oregon :)) And now the coast up here in Oregon. 

I am feeling pretty darn blessed. 

I know that when I follow my heart, it all aligns. 

We made it to Newport. 

The gas says 0, and we only have $3 to our name and a bag or 2 of food. 

But it's all going to work out now that we are home ♥

We are where we are supposed to be, and I have never been more aligned with my internals, and I have learned to always trust. It always works out. I learned that in Encinitas 

It always flows. Especially when you are where you are supposed to be ♥

Home

Written yesterday/Sunday.

The ocean is calling to me. Promising me home.

So, we are heading to the coast. 

Stepping away from comfort and familiarity again. 

Prepared to leave our fears in the dust, along with anything else we don't need. 

The coast is calling, beckoning. Like a lover whispering sweet everythings in my heart. 

Only the coast matters. 

Once we are there, it will all fall into place. 

Home. 

We are so ready. 

Our sleep longs for a cozy home. And our need to hide away for a while requires one. 

A home to cozy into. Stillness. 

A space to spread everything out. And be able to leave it there. 

A space to grow from. 

I have big wild dreams, and I require a space to grow that from. 

A space to gather like hearts. 

A home base to work from, to move from. 

A home, like the dark rich earth, to grow a seed into a sprout. 

I'm ready to actualize this tribe, and I need the space to grow it from. 

I need an anchor to move from and return to. 

Home. 

Oh, are we ready ♥

Counting down the days...

Tuesday.

Today is Tuesday.

That leaves 3 more days in this town.

This town we fell in love at first sight (and feel) with. This town we have grown to deeply feel "home" with. This town that will continue to be home for many of our beloveds.

And we will wish it a sacred and wet farewell, as we will begin our trek northward.

So many people to see and love before we go.

Community beloveds, family members, friends.

I know us moving to Oregon is right, and I ground myself in that when I start to feel so sad about leaving the incredible people here that we love with all our hearts.

It hurts. And that hurt has stopped me from going for many years now.

But Oregon keeps calling. A soft whisper. A knowing reminder. Soft and loving.

It's where we are meant to be.

Green, rain, Pacific Ocean, affordable housing, land, hippies. Perfect.

I have been dreaming big wild dreams of a tribe on land, and I am ready to manifest that. And I am excited about the journey to get there.

I envision spending time in communes, intentional communities, and eco-villages.

I envision festivals and fairs and farmers markets.

I envision landscapes that will take our breath away.

I imagine connecting with people who will warm my heart and nourish this little Tribe idea seed that is gaining momentum deep in the earth, preparing to burst through the soil and bask in the sunlight.

I look forward to manifesting space for my family's needs to be met, and for our wildest dreams to come into fruition.

My oldest wants to be a large animal vet. She has always had a kinship with animals. They bring her peace. And after 2 years of not having her own room, she very much looks forward to decorating and caring for her own space. And getting some furried bedmates again :)

My son just wants room to spread out his playspace and endulge in combat + adventure + action figure social skills for deep long periods of time. And Netflix. Our own wifi is a must :)

And the baby. She wants to gather her dollies and care for them. And follow her sister around caring for goats and horses and chickens and all other 2- and 4-legged friends that come to join us in our homesteading adventure.

And me? Well, I want to take root deeply and grow. I want to grow a home. I want to grow a business. I want to grow a tribe, a lively community-family who lean toward sacred sustainability and wild fun, who dream together, play together, live together, love together, grow together. I want drum circles and dancing and bonfires and a red tent and kid wonderland and hammocks in faery eutopia and treehouses and gardens opportunities to share my all through workshops and services, and, and, and.

Oh, I have been dreaming of this for years. This list is oh-so long, and it keeps growing.

I look forward to showing it to you, like a story that unfolds through our upcoming journey.

I look forward to chronicling, not only our trip up to Oregon and around Oregon while we find the right place to call home, but also the sprouting and budding of a tribe come true, the depths, the details.

I hope that someday, I will be able to create a model of the tribe that has been my clear vision and purpose, so that I can share that model with ones who aspire to create tribes of their own.

I don't know all the words yet. The language. I just have a big clear vision and feeling, that I have been refining for about 6 years, through creating an online tribe, studying about tribal communities, hanging with unschoolers and faire folks, experiencing shamanic dreams and visions, and doing a bit of research on fellow intentional communities.

There is just so much room for growth, and I am excited to already be gathering beautiful souls into my life who want to grow this with me.

Until next time, all my love,
V

The Prodigal Woman

I know it has been a while since I have posted on here. I will be honest, I haven't been feeling very insightful recently. The weird part is that I have been proud of myself for living more aligned with my values of love and peace through adversity than ever. But stress and some other things that feel "unaligned" seem to monopolize that place where insight used to grow and want to be shared from.

We have been just BEing recently. It has been free-ing, but I feel kinda unproductive. I had such big dreams for this RV-journey that we were going to embark upon. Now I feel like I am spinning my wheels (very slowly, even) in mud. I am trying to dream, to stay focused on my dreams. I think I used up all my motivation and inspiration LOL Now, I am replenishing? Who knows...

So, our plans at this point are to comandeer some land (LOL) and start building and growing a life. I need some stillness. I miss the comfort that comes with being in the same space over and over and over and over. I want to lay in one spot in the sun on the grass for about a month, I think LOL

I am ready for a small beautiful home nestled on big green faery land not too far from the beach, to build things and grow things, to live sustainably, to richly unschool my children, to create a face Tribe, to run my own business, to have the freedom to spontaneously travel, to love a partner and build together a wildly blissful life and family, with lots and lots and lots of stolen romance.

A place for building big dreams, treehouses, a big swing, animal habitats, playhouses, pillow forts, fairy gardens, labrynths, coy ponds, and anything else I can find on the internet to inspire me :)

I have sure come full circle. I wanted to get out of my house because I was feeling restless about just laying around browsing the internet at my will, feeling over-full on inspiration and needing experiences to live them. Now, I am reallllllly looking forward to just laying around browsing the internet at my will, feeling over-full on inspiration LOL

I am grateful for the journeys I have taken, even if they all end up leading right back to home. I guess that makes me a bit of an adventurer LOL I feel like the prodigal woman :)) And I have a whole new appreciation for it all. I love the life I have lived, the many adventures (often contrasting) that I have undertaken, and what meaning it all brings to my present. I love how thinking about it reminds me of the powerful manifestor that I am. I have really done a lot of things! I have felt so passionately about so much in my life -- what a blessed life to have lived. Not that it is over. No, not at all :)))

I think I am learning to not take it all so seriously. I used to be such an extremist, like something I was going to do or was into was radically completely amazingly transforming everything in my life from the bottom up. Okay, so maybe it did. Maybe it's just more normalized for me to radically change everything from the ground up now? Well, whatever it is, I feel less attached to the permanence I once felt about the whole thing.

I was afraid to grow on land, the way I want to now. I was afraid to invest in something that would ultimately be impermanent. But I have learned that I can beautify the world, even if I don't stay with that spot forever. And I have learned that I will find another amazing wild chapter to pursue once this land chapter has died off in my heart. I don't have to be afraid of something being amazing, or of something ending or being gone. I will keep on trekin'.

Radical Gardening

I have been doing some research the past few days on what I am calling radical gardening, which (for me) is a combination of permaculture (which is the only way I will roll), small space gardening, and all things gardening alternative.

After all this research my brain was kinda tied up in a knot with how to make this happen when we move into our RV in a few days. I have decided to take this one step at a time and adjust to living in the RV (and what kind of space we are looking at) before building a garden, but all this delicious information is going to percolate in my brain and grow in our lives :)) I'm very excited to share some of the cool information that I found! Enjoy the following delicious radical gardening buffet :)))

In January of this year, my friend, Kimra, first got me to thinking about alternative gardening spaces when she posted this blog post.

This is another fellow self-identified radical gardener, and so is she.

I am going to post a few links/pics to the stuff I want to combine somehow for us :))

I have GOT to find a way to make this happen in the RV. 

using shoe holders! (my friend, Kimra, adds her own suggestion for this in her blog post above)

This really has me thinking, too! 

gardening in reclaimed gutters

And another cool vertical option

I can see this one on almost any wall

Talk about alternative spaces!!!! Site and video

This has me thinking about towing a trailer garden

This Living Kitchen has me drooling

Okay, on the original site, they call it a flow kitchen -- I <3 both terms!

So those are radical gardening porn (heehee, I love that analogy LOL).

Here are a few links (brain pron?) that REALLY feed my soul:

Creating the Permaculture Balcony Garden

Gardening as a Site of Liberation

Proof that gardening can be cool: Anarchy in the Garden: keeping it punk by growing your own

Garden Girl: Home & Garden: Organic living tips, ideas, & inspiration

I feel very blessed to have personal access to fellow gardeners, like my mom (who has been gardening my entire life) and my friend, MB, who is my biggest source of permaculture inspiration ♥ She has taught me that permaculture is much bigger than just growing plants -- it's a lifestyle. Her blog is a testament to permaculture gardening and permaculture lifestyle ♥ Like her life, her blog is embedded with gardening, but I managed to find a good "Permaculture 101, as told in the context of MB" blog post, called earth as schooner ~ a permaculture analogy.

**EEK! Jumping on to edit to add a few links I totally forgot about other alternative gardening ways:

Container Gardening: this is uber-helpful (what and when to plant), practically a one-shop-stop for planning to container garden, another AMAZING container garden link

Square-foot Gardening