The UnStead Tribe

Hey, Loves!

I know you have noticed my absence. I applogize for not telling you sooner.

We took a huge plunge. It has been an incredible and fantastical journey.

We left San Diego with only what would fit in our minivan, and we headed north into Oregon.

Where the forest meets the ocean.

It's heaven.

It's nourishing in ways I can only begin to decribe.

I started a blog to chronicle it, and I wanted to come share it with you.

It's called Where the Wild Things Love.

It is full of soul-delicious pics, deep inner workings, and plans - oh glorious plans!

I guess I am kinda on a business sabbatical - except that I think growing this tribe has been one of the biggest projects of my life.

I plan to find us a little temporary home to settle down in, and we hope for stillness.

In that stillness, I will return.

I love you.
V

Pictures of Newport

So, tomorrow is likely our last full day in Newport, and we will be preparing to head east into a few possibilities :)

For now, let me serenade you with pictures from our time in Newport ♥

The beach...

The park...

The hike with my beloved MB and her son Quinn (more about their fabulousness later)...

The library and library park (a few blips over the time there)... 

The Farmers Market (and more MB and Quinn)...

The chili cook-off at the senior center that we stumbled upon quite serendipitously...

 

Our BINGO bounty!

The kids got new-to-them shoes shortly upon arriving...

And Noble got to practice the ancient art of shoe-tying...

And he is now a master. 

Jaja took a selfie...

And Kass spent a lot of personal time catching up with her "back-up best friend", manga... 

Me? Well, besides being the "mamarazzi", I have been deep in the early work of growing this tribe. Which mainly consisted of online connections with kindreds, research, and reflection. 

More on that in my next post :))

Opening to trust

Hello, Loves ♥

I haven't written in a few days. You can only begin to imagine how challenging it is to live a full life, be growing a huge dream tribe, and sharing all of it from the touchscreen of an old phone. 

I'm so ready to have my laptop back. My dreams and projects are way too big for this little phone :)

So, we landed in Newport, in the heart of resourceville, thank goodness. All of the community resources are within a few blocks from where we are at. 

And we landed at the perfect time of the season and of the month. There are more resources available throughout the 2 weeks that we will be there than, there have been any other time of the year. 

Churches having bar-b-ques in the park and enfolding us into the fellowship. Churches offering hot meals and clothing, that only happen once a month. A newly emerging food bank that is starting next week. 

Blessed. Guided. 

Grateful ♥

Because this is the part in our journey where things get tight financially. We spent the bulk of our monthly income getting up here. And things were more expensive than I had anticipated. 

We landed in Newport with 0 miles left on the van's estimation of how far we could drive before we ran out of gas, a bag of snack items for food, and not a dollar to our name. 

Thankfully, a friend did some googling, while I did some internal work, and found us some resources. 

I'm learning that I need to have fuel and resources to make these big gigantic dreams come true. 

All of my being is funneled into the manifestation of this vision, this purpose. And that's a lotta being. 

And it gets tired when the fuel runs out, and that ain't a pretty sight ♥

Thankfully, the community resources here in Newport are keeping my reserves from being depleted, but my dream is so big and requires more fuel. 

I have some serious tribe-gathering to do, and we need resources to do this.

So, I'm taking a new plunge. 

I have been feeling called toward fund-raising, toward providing a wish list for folks who love us, believe in what we are doing, and want to be a part of this journey. 

For these beginning stages, we are humble. 

Our wish list is: 

- getting my laptop fixed so I can more efficiently do what I am being called to get done

- get a Verizon or AT&T phone that creates a hotspot, so we can connect with people more efficiently and personably

- get fliers and business cards made to find and stay connected to our people

-event expenses (like gas, admission, and possibly camping) to connect with likehearted folks in bulk :)

- a homebase - we need somewhere to work from, somewhere to recharge our batteries at night and during some days when we have deep work to do (like a campground site, or a kindred's home, and eventually our own space)

That's our current wish list. 

Humble, I know. We are simple folks. 

Of course, financial donations will be applied to those things in whatever order of salience the day is calling for :)

You can send monetary donations to my Paypal account at wildsacredsoul@live.com or we can arrange another means if Paypal doesn't do it for you. 

With these blessings, our ability to manifest this vision will grow. The best part about me is that when I feel blessed, it is a catalyst for me to take that blessing and catapult into some far-reaching trajectory. 

I was made to require support, and when I have it, I can do anything I put my mind to. 

I am learning to open up to trust. I had opened so widely to trust when we were in Encinitas. It became so easy in a town full of such smiling and kind people, and a strong homestyle community. 

And now we are in the real world. 

Strangers. Often not the smile-iest. 

And always a fear of being a burden. 

I remind myself that people believe in what we are doing. In Encinitas people believed in the mama I am and the love I am. 

I am opening to trust now, that people believe in me following my most deep-hearted dream to create a community that nourishes the people who are a part of it, and as far reaching into the world as I an heal. 

We really are simple people. Anyone who knows us knows we don't require much, and we generate so much joy and love from the little we receive. 

And I can't help thinking how much more joy and love I could generate with more resources. 

That is really what this dream is. 

It's an opportunity to create the utopia that my family deserves, to create a utopia for so many beautiful families who are ready to live in a way that is gentler on this earth and oh-so full of the kind of abundance that doesn't drain the earth's resources. 

To become self-reliant, so we don't need much from the outside world to sustain us, and then everything we get we can give back, we can pay forward into this big beautiful bountiful world of possibilities ♥

Community heals. I believe this. And that is what this vision is all about. It's about healing the people who are a part of it, and growing it to heal the world. 

We are starting small - a working laptop, a phone, some fliers, connection, a comfortable resting/recharging and working space. 

Can you help us with that?

If you want to contact me personally, please feel free to e-mail me at free(dot)mama(at)live(dot)com. 

I still owe you an update on the tribe and gobs of pictures. 

You will love them. 

I will be back soon. 

I love you,

V

Following my heart

This whole journey has been about following my heart.

It has been about listening to where I am being called, and following in trust and faith. 

And magic happens. 

When we showed up in Ashland, a beautiful family that we hadn't had the honor of meeting yet, invites us over, and we interconnected so well that they opened their campsite up to us, and we felt right at home, parking our little van home next to their violet love bug and Eco Tour bus ♥

They were an incredible family to be with. I can't believe how much love and fun was had ♥

And they gave us a homebase for the past week. 

And then we for called to the coast. And as soon as I visited my heart, I knew we were destined for Newport. 

One of my dearest soul sisters lives here, and I have been aching for 6 years (!!) to hug her and be with her in the flesh ♥ 

She was a part of my very first tribe ♥ And she has always remained in that special space in my heart for my tribe ♥

So, yesterday, we were at the park, and there was this funky folk couple performing with so much heart and fun. 

And every song they sang was a piece of my story. I cried with every song. It was so perfect. 

And when the crowd finally dissipated, I told them that their songs were moving me so much, that I was a single mama with 2 kids and I just left everything that wouldn't fit in my minivan and drove up here to Oregon to find a simple life and home for my family. 

They dedicated the next song to me, and it really made me cry. About trusting your heart and going when the wind blows. 

They were moved by my story, and they donated $20 to our journey. 

I get so full when I think about that. 

They were such a colorful and insightful piece to my journey, I had been wondering if I should give them some of the last of my money. 

I knew it would all work out. 

But I hadn't gone back to the van to do all that yet, and they beat me ♥

And the other part that knocks me down with a feather is how they were a perfect piece on my journey, showing me that I am on the right path. 

So, I trusted my heart this morning, and I took that $20 + my last $10, and I put them in my gas tank. 

It was 256 miles to Newport, and we had 257 (according to our van's estimation). 

So, we left. Guided by our calling. Guided by our heart.  

We knew we needed the ocean and cooler temperatures. 

I picked a route that took us along the coast without backtracking. 

As soon as we got off the main freeway I-5, and we got on the 138 scenic bypass, we knew this was exactly what we had done this for. 

The route was gorgeous, green, cooler. It followed a river, and the panoramic views literally took my breath away. 

We found a gorgeous little spot to pull over, and found a pathway down to a river!!!! 

It was the first time my kids had seen a river, and they couldn't wait to swim in it!! :))

They had so much fun!

And after a couple hours of soul-delicious spontaneous detour, we got back on that beautiful road and drove to some of our favorite songs and oohed and ahhhed and filled our cameras with hundreds of photos from our amazingly beautiful trip. 

Once we hit the coast, I was overflowing with excitement. Here we were. It was all meant to be. 

I had nourishing Oregon and my soul nourishing and beloved Pacific Ocean ♥ She was the reason we moved to Oregon instead of Colorado. 

She was so important. So sacred. And I had missed her. 

The coast in Oregon is more gorgeous and perfect to me than I had even imagined. 

Wildflowers met driftwood met the waves. Rocks everywhere. Freshwater creeks spilling out into her. 

This beach was very different than the beach I grew up next to. 

This one felt more interesting, with all the waterways and driftwood and rocks and cooler temperatures and lack of crowds. 

It was so so amazing. Words cannot find or explain. 

It was just perfect. A deep - "this is SOOOOOO gorgeous" "this is why I was called here" "I really freakin did it!"  

Yes. I cried ♥

This was it. 

This was what I was made for. 

No more feeling out of place. 

I was home. 

When we were leaving, Kass found a heart-shaped rock for me. 

Noble had found one for me at the lake in Ashland. 

I have a few from Encinitas. 

Hearts are kinda my favorite in life. I'm all about love. 

A friend of mine pointed out that these heart-shaped rocks are treasures from following my heart. 

Oh so true. 

Encinitas was my first heart-calling. Then Oregon (Ashland was our first official Oregon :)) And now the coast up here in Oregon. 

I am feeling pretty darn blessed. 

I know that when I follow my heart, it all aligns. 

We made it to Newport. 

The gas says 0, and we only have $3 to our name and a bag or 2 of food. 

But it's all going to work out now that we are home ♥

We are where we are supposed to be, and I have never been more aligned with my internals, and I have learned to always trust. It always works out. I learned that in Encinitas 

It always flows. Especially when you are where you are supposed to be ♥

Home

Written yesterday/Sunday.

The ocean is calling to me. Promising me home.

So, we are heading to the coast. 

Stepping away from comfort and familiarity again. 

Prepared to leave our fears in the dust, along with anything else we don't need. 

The coast is calling, beckoning. Like a lover whispering sweet everythings in my heart. 

Only the coast matters. 

Once we are there, it will all fall into place. 

Home. 

We are so ready. 

Our sleep longs for a cozy home. And our need to hide away for a while requires one. 

A home to cozy into. Stillness. 

A space to spread everything out. And be able to leave it there. 

A space to grow from. 

I have big wild dreams, and I require a space to grow that from. 

A space to gather like hearts. 

A home base to work from, to move from. 

A home, like the dark rich earth, to grow a seed into a sprout. 

I'm ready to actualize this tribe, and I need the space to grow it from. 

I need an anchor to move from and return to. 

Home. 

Oh, are we ready ♥

This is my life

Drumming has a deep sacred place in my soul, especially when coupled with fire and water.

The evening before last, I sat back in my chair and said "this is my life."

Whenever I find myself in that "this is my life" space, it is interwoven with a deep knowing and acknowledgment that my external is aligned with my internal. 

I know I am on the right path. 

I have traveled many journeys in my life. I am clear on when something is right. 

This is so right. 

Not right as in objectively right, like "right or wrong for people", but oh so right for me. 

And coming up here (finally!) and being here is oh so right. 

I have been needing this green nourishment for a great many years. 

And I have been needing to be a brave mama. 

I stepped into the fire.

And I had spent so much time preparing myself so I could walk on fire and not get burned. I was so afraid of getting burned. 

And when I stepped off the ledge, took that leap of faith, trusted that a net would appear or wings would sprout, I never knew that none of that even applied. 

Because I am a pheonix. I AM the fire. The fire I was afraid of was me. 

But somehow I had forgotten me. I didn't know who I was. I thought I was a kitten, meek and afraid of getting singed. 

I am a pheonix. I am bold and powerful.

I am that which I feared. 

And this is my life. 

Soft + bold. 

Pure power. 

Gently and fearfreefully exploring my new way, guided by my heart. 

Connecting with beloveds, like the Eco Womb family, and new kindreds in the brave new world we are exploring. 

Learning the layout of this new land one need at a time :)

Any day that starts out with the kind of chocolate that is good for the tastebuds and for the soul and good for the earth, is a day I want to be a part of :)

This is a local organic chocolate company next door to our storage place. 

We found the local resource center which was a funny little bookstore with not a lot of connections that would help us. 

Then we found the local library. I have a special place in my heart for libraries, since the Encinitas library was like a home to us with its love and coziness and beauty. 

And we went to a local food co-op that felt like hippy heaven. I have never seen so many dreads, flowing earth colored clothing, happy cloth-bummed babies in one place. I couldn't soak it in deep enough. 

And we ended up running into our beloved Eco Womb family there who told us about a concert in the park. So after eating, we all headed to the park. 

Well, my little troupe ended up at a little amphitheater in front of the giant Shakespeare theater this town is known for, partaking in some wild drumming, a sexy saxophone, and a soulful cello. 

The kids were dancing. My soul was soaking in the richness of the music and the deeply earthy Oregon people. 

And when it ended, we walked down to the park and found our friends. 

The park was so green with tall tall trees so thick and... Just nourishing. Everything about Oregon is nourishing me. 

The kindness and earthiness of the people, the quaint little mountain town called Ashland, the green mountains, the big lake. 

Nourishment, nourishment, nourishment. 

Rehydrating this dehydrated mama. 

I wasn't made for the desert. 

I am an earthy fish. I need verdant greens, rich browns, and lots of water. 

Speaking of water. Look at this creek that runs through Lithia Park. 

There are steps down to it, inviting play and exploration. 

And the kids did. 

To see more pictures, feel free to visit the Instagram hashtags #oregonfinally and #lithiapark. 

You may remember my barefoot picture from our time in Encinitas, at Cottonwood Creek Park. 

There is a new Oregon barefoot pic in town. 

My loves, I wish for you all the hydration and nourishment your soul needs ♥

Love you,

V