1 year ago, I shaved my head

Hello, my love!!

I was feeling inspired by this post by Tara Wagner, so I wanted to revisit my journey to shaving my head a year ago, how it all worked out, and where I am at with it now...

Soon after I shaved my head, I wrote this blog post love story about an Amazon Warrior Monk Rockstar :)

The most incredible experience

When I listened to Tara's video, some of the things she mentioned that I remembered were how liberating and enlightening the experience was. I felt so radiant. I felt my light shining out. It felt like it was pouring out of my head.

It felt euphoric for a couple weeks, and then it was so comfortable. Unlike Tara, I absolutely loved looking at myself in the mirror. I had never felt more naturally beautiful. Catching myself in a mirror or a window reflection brightened my day.

The feedback I got about it was very much a reflection to how I was feeling about all of it. At first, I was hesitant to how people were going to understand me, and people seemed just as hesitant as I was. When I felt gorgeous, people told me I was, even if it was just with a smile.

The craziest response I go was from my beloved mother, who really just never got it -- just a few weeks ago she told someone I did it because I had a breakdown. How funny. I guess I can embrace that, though - I surely was breaking some shit down in my life!!

I kept it shaved until February, when I gave in to the desires of my children and a guy I was dating, who wanted me to grow it out. I loved watching it grow. Each new quarter of an inch was my new favorite hair length :))

What had started out as an experience became more about a hairstyle.

I will be honest, I miss having a shaved head. I miss the simplicity. I miss how radiant I always felt.

I always loved my curls, and I loved my shaved head, but now that my hair has gotten longer, I am not digging this middle length. I miss how simply radiant I looked with my shaved head. Now, I feel like my beauty and radiance is complicated by my hair.

I got my first haircut by someone else (in 17 years) a few weeks ago. A woman with curly hair like mine, whose hair shape I really liked. I trusted her, and I was pleased with the result. I went from looking Bozo-the-clown-esque to my hair being lighter, my head looking less... big.

I don't have any pictures. I haven't really wanted to take any of me recently. I don't know why, but I am not questioning it. Just going with it.

Here is one of my last pictures...

How about this? :)

I have had quite a hair journey in my life, such delicious contrasts and extremes :))

I foresee purple curls in my future. Just sayin' ;)

I would love to kind of recap what it was I remember learning from the experience...

I remember, loud and clear, that I suddenly KNEW that someone's reaction to me was all about them and nothing about me. I was just an opportunity to reflect something back to a person.

I was suddenly very clear that someone's approval or disapproval of me had nothing to do with me. I cannot begin to explain how profound that realization was for me. I was one of the biggest people-pleasers EVER. OH, the extents I went to. How I bent myself in ways that were not about being ME.

That was one of the most delicious goodies I received from the experience.

Another has been "shaving" other areas of my life.

I am pretty positive that shaving my head was a catalyst to "shaving" stuff from my life, to putting the rest of the bit of stuff I own into storage and living comfortably in my van.

I recently told a friend that I had gotten into the RV with the intention of living simplicity and joy, but me being me, I had to take it to a radical level. It's how I roll. I am starting to just go with it and not be so surprised by it.

IT is kind of like my unassisted birth -- on one hand, I wanna yell from the top of a mountain that I FREAKIN DID IT! And on the other hand, it just feels so normal and "Of course I did."

When I talk to more mainstream folks is when I feel like giving myself ribbons for the cool shit I do. In fact, I have a blog post in the works, sharing some of the coolest things I am proud of doing :)

Does it count as brave if you were just nestled deep within and following your heart?

Does it count as brave if you just released your fear and just did what felt right, getting into step with trust?

I am sure there is so much more that I learned, both from the actual process of shaving my beloved curls off my head, and the living since. I am sure I have been changed in deep profound ways. I am sure it was a huge contributor to the peace and trust I feel in life today.

I can't think of anything else to share about it.

I do want to share, in anticipation of a question.... why I keep growing my hair out if I wasn't done having it shaved.

I see long curls in my life again. I see curls past my shoulders when I am in love with a life partner, and I am at peace with moving in that direction. I will always have the pictures to revisit my previous uber-empowering step in life.

The most delicious thing about life is that there is always a new uber-empowering, super radical, deeply moving experience to be had.

Being the wild woman that I am, I guess I keep people on their toes ;)

I love you.

Talk to me ♥