I had visions of kids who spent all their free time outdoors, digging up worms and referencing bugs in one of those bug-kind-of-reference books...
Ha!
I had visions of earthy shades of browns and oranges for my boy. Cargo shorts. Dirt-smudged cheek.
Not much different for my girls. Except lots of sun dresses.
All waldorfy, with plains and mis-matched patterns, and all wood, organic cotton, and felted toys.
I dreamed of spending 99% of our spare time as one of those "ideal unschooling families" who flow from one incredible "obviously academic" interests into another.
My baby, although 2 1/2 years (to the day) younger than my son, would be at the same academic level.
Because we would spend all day together investigating and exploring nature in rain or shine, reading books, writing in our nature journals, building with natural materials, playing homemade board games, observing our science experiments growing in windowsills, handcrafting our own toys, and eating local whole organic non-GMO raw vegan foods.
Yeah, not so much ♥
Sure, I could probably make any of that happen. But that's not what this blog post is about.
This post is about loving right where we are when we aren't living up to our own ideals.
I love those ideals. I hold them in my heart, and they make me smile. Sometimes, even chuckle.
And I'm okay with the times when they make me a little sad, a little disappointed, a little grieving over my dreams.
It's all a part of the process.
And I'm not here to tell anyone that we shouldn't do this or want that. I just like to all come back to here, now, the present.
I like to chuckle over the disparity between who I envisioned my kids as, and who they are.
And I like to bask in the ways that my kids make my heart melt - in the ways I had hoped, and the ways they surprise me.
I like to open myself up. To see their world through their eyes. To jump on their bandwagon that is playing the tuba of joy over Ben 10. Or the trumpet of pride over a new karate move.
I like to open myself up, and see what's coming up for me.
Do some choices feel "better" to me than others? Why might that be?
What is it I am really wanting for my kids? Where do my deeper desires meet my own values and intentions?
Is there something I am wanting to grow or develop in my own life, even if my kids aren't interested? Am I projecting my own desires onto ideals about my kids?
Could they just fake it for a most treasured photo for me once? Bwahaahaaaahahahahaha ;)
When I check in inside and ask what's going on for me, what shows up? And how skilled am I about keeping that about me and not making it about my kids?
How easy is it for me to embrace all of the bits of my kids that they have chosen for themselves?
I may not be the best at encouraging my kids to dig up bugs and sew their own baby clothes, but I ROCK at embracing my kids for who they chose for themselves to be.
It is an honor to witness them, to see their journey unfold.
And that is about when I kick back and am able to see my kids again, and our life in all it's magnificence.
And then the funniest thing happens. I find myself outside digging in the dirt, because I realized that was something I was wanting to do.
And then, my kids look away from Netflix and come join me.
And I can appreciate it like a violin on their bandwagon, because it was all about them.
Such a funny little circle radical acceptance is. I can't change anything until I accept it, and once I accept it, it doesn't become about changing anymore, and yet it changes.
This is one of the common processes I experience in our free life.
It's a big piece of our gypsy lifestyle.
And I love sharing our gypsy life with you ♥
p.s. - If you find yourself caught in a piece of that process, please feel free to contact me. I would love to help you loosen up your mama mojo a bit and experience the free flow life ♥
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