Unplug

When I was writing my last post about knowing it was time to do this roadliving thing, I wanted to explain more about why I knew this would be good for our family, why we need this, what is so important for us.

I feel so disconnected right now. I feel like the internet and other technology in our lives consume our attention, and we are so spread out that we hardly see each other. I can't just turn off the internet -- it is embedded into this life, and limiting it is a bandaid, really.

It's more than the internet, though. The internet and other technology are not the cause -- they are what we are trying to use as a remedy. Other "remedies" include Kass's investment in playing outside with kids who often make her feel awful about who she is and what she likes. We are all trying to find ways to cure this anxiety inside us, this restlessness in our gut that says something is off and how can I "get back on".

I was an attachment parent when I didn't even know the term. I couldn't get enough of my baby. She and I were thick as thieves. But events happened in our lives that left us disconnected and angry and taking it out on each other. I want to cry when I think of how alone and unsafe my daughter has felt in her life, and probably emotionally abandoned by me because of my own issues during it all.

I see the repercussions of it everyday. Today, we are closer than ever. We enjoy each other more than ever. I'm ready to take the plunge into the most connected we can be :) Before my baby (my oldest) leaves the roost, I want her to feel connected, a part of this whole <3 I want us to be so close that we have no other choice <3

I just want a family connected, a family unplugged from the "junk food of life" and plugged in to the things I value. I want a good shot at it. I want to make it our life. We have been living off of the processed life which is why we want more and more and more -- because it is not fulfilling... and I want a whole life for us. I want the depths and richness of family, adventure, outdoors, simplicity, tribeness, and wildly self-designing our own lives free of social conformity. If my kids chose the traditional route for their futures, at least it won't be because they didn't know any different.

I cannot get what I want from living rooted into the ground right now, unless those roots were in the company of this tribe I need so desperately in my life. I literally and figuratively fill myself to the brim and overflowing with junk, because I really just need some whole foods for my life -- literally and figuratively. Maybe the reason I am feeling the draw toward the road is because that is where I found it before in my life? I want to do what I know. Maybe someday I will try something different, but I really need this. I really want to give my family this. It's a gift, my service to them. And this is my gift...

I want to awake to them, spend the whole day with them, and fall asleep with them in the context of a simple, whole, and connected life, with a backdrop of adventure and enriched learning.

I wrote something for my friends, the Leapleys, as they prepare for their departure by RV in the next couple weeks:

Plant simplicity
in the rich soil of love.
Water with adventure.
Grow abundance!

One of my favorite things about the Leapleys is how similar they are to us LOL This quote applies to us both. We are both simple people who garden in black earthy love soil. When we water that simple living with amazing experiences and sights to see, we grow abundance -- abundant connection, abundant richness, abundant wholeness, abundant opportunities, abundant freedom, abundant possibilities....

This is more important to me, as a mother to my children, than any lessons to "prepare them for life" (like how to get a job or balance a bank account). I want to give them the gift of a whole and rich childhood to both grow their adulthood from and to bounce their future lives off of to test for joy and importance. If they have a solid sense of the substance that comes from living a rich and whole life, then they can use it as barometer for their future when deciding what to do with their own lives. Hopefully, it won't take them until they are 30 to figure it out for themselves :))) Or, better yet, maybe they won't be afraid at 30, with kids in tow, to leave it "all" behind and hit the road of happiness? ...and I say "all" on purpose, because "all" we need and want is coming with us -- it's in our hearts, and it is the fact that we are all together, and it is because our favorite belongings are a humble amount and will fit in our new home. We have it all :))

Kassidy's Sagitarius moon makes her more of a natural adventurer than I am -- I either learned it or it's in the blood I inherited from my mother, but it's been in Kassidy's stars since her birth. I always thought she would join the Peace Corps because of how much she loves justice, helping people, and travel. She always said she wanted to get a VW bus and travel when she turned 18 (instead of go straight into college), and she said just a few weeks ago (when Kai was sick) that she imagined him riding shotgun in her road adventures later in life :)) No matter how much "stability" I tried to give Kassidy (by living in the same place from her age 3 to 9, by her having the same daycare provider all her years, and going to the same school from kindergarten until she came home to homeschool), she wanted adventure. I know this will be so perfect for Kassidy :)))

I want to hit the road before Noble and Najaia have a preference otherwise. It's already hard to balance the timing between Kass and I -- the last thing we need are more people with big opinions on the matter :)) I would love for this to be all that Najaia remembers (and maybe even Noble).

We are a nomad family. I can't wait to hit the road :)))