A Bit of Background

I just wanted to share a bit about gentle parenting and unschooling, from my perspective. First, let me explain that this is a process and my path often shifts, as I live and learn. I am not a spokesperson for this lifestyle -- I can only speak for my own path, which is an eclectic blend of various parenting and family interaction styles. It is impossible for this to be comprehensive of a lifetime of experience and research (and not a book), so I will try to keep it simple, and feel free to ask questions for clarification. I am going to bold the key words :)) There are links in the column on the left, if you want to research some more of where I developed my personal philosophy from. Alright, here I go...

I trust nature. I trust that nature created humans to develop successfully without intervention -- that we are naturally learning creatures, born with intact self-preservation, dignity, and internal guidance system. I trust that my children mostly just need me to not mess up their processing or bump them off their path/out of their comfort zone, and be present while they figure it out. I love my children and respect them so much, I want to honor them. I do this by admiring them figuring things out, enjoying their own paths, and I am still practicing the part where I only offer solicited suggestions. I want to enjoy THEIR way as I enjoy finding my own way. I learn so much from them! Accepting my children for exactly who and where they are can be easy when it is what is socially acceptable (which varies on our social group, of course). My hardest struggle has been my own comfort during de-social-conditioning. We definately are not "perfect" (although, I feel that the path that we are on is perfectly perfect) -- I have had to let go of a lot of perfectionism, and just do the best that I can and appologize to my kids when my part doesn't align with my values. My kids don't have to do things the way I do -- I am just a part of the options they have to pick from when finding their own way. And I am grateful for the fact that when I do things a way that doesn't align with my values, we all feel the contrast and decide how we want to do them in a kinder, more consensual way. This way takes time and creativity, to meet everyone's needs and honor everyone's path and preferences. There are many wonderful tools for self-healing and communication at our disposal to help our thoughts, values, and actions align (I plan to post them on the column on the left). For me, this life is all about letting go of control, trusting my children more, and tailoring our life to our needs, not what we "should" or "have to" do. This is my greatest adventure :))