This has been a big one for me recently, and I am so glad that I found my peace with it, my goal so to speak, so that I can focus on aligning the details with it.
I was raised well-intentionally to the extreme of sacrificing myself for other people's comfort. I have been self-conscious to the point of it being a kill-joy, and I have "parented" in ways that didn't feel right to me in order to suit someone else's desires, because I thought it was what I was "supposed" to do. It has been hard for me to unpack the "shoulds" in this context -- I had no other basis to see things from, and my own meters were unreliable since they were dysfunctional. Until I read this article by Michael Brown and watched this video on YouTube by Eckart Tolle called "What is my Responsibilty". They helped me find a clear distinction between MY understanding of my and another's responsibility (they attributed to this blog post and this one), and where the overlap lays for me now feels right for me and authentic from me.
What I have found is that the only responsibilty I have is to be true to me, to what feels right to me. So, when I am interacting with someone, I align with myself, dig my heels in real good, and stick with being me, from coming from my truth, that place inside of me that is unfolding more and more with practice and experience. It is slowly consuming me and getting easier to connect with and stick to. It helps me to interact with my children and others and myself in a way that feels so right to me, words can't describe :)
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