"Hyper"

My oldest has a lot of energy. Her biofather did (was diagnosed ADHD, actually) and so did I, I have been told. In fact, my well-intentioned stepmom would make me sit when she wanted me to calm down and I guess I would shake my hands like crazy to channel some of that energy. I know my oldest's biofather was put on ridalin at a young age and swore off any medication as an adult -- in fact, he was adament against drugs of any sort and rarely drank any alcohol. He didn't like the feeling of his body being out of sorts. He learned to channel his energy into his favorite activities (he was always very outdoorsy). Funny, I am overweight and extremely low on energy as an adult and for as long as I can remember now -- I wish my energy had been channeled instead of repressed :)

I haven't used the word hyper to describe my daughter in many years, and I'm trying to recall the things that impacted my perspective and therefore my language. I guess it started with the breaking down of my understanding of ADHD. I believe that it is very much over diagnosed and mistreated, and I really only feel responsible about it's role (or lack of) in my and my children's life. I have read some amazing books that ended up having some perspectives on ADHD, like Last Child in the Woods, by Richard Louv. But even before that, I questioned it. If my daughter had been a boy, she would have been diagnosed with it (or they would have tried), but because I refused to test her (my mom wanted me to), I got to experience her development with it, and I know it was completely normal. She has a lot of energy and that was it. In other cultures, in a life tailored to her needs, she could have done some amazing things -- imagine her hunting animals or running messages from one village to another. She would have been prized and valued, but because we expect children to sit in a classroom and do busywork, this is unacceptable, literally. How much of this energy is a normal part of childhood? Will we ever know, because our children's lives are so far from "normal" (using this word to describe the way we expect children to be cookie-cutter versions of each other fitting nicely on a bell-curve and in a desk at such a young age)?

My son was born so different it astounds me. Different dad, same mom (biologically -- obviously I have changed since Kass was his age). He was slow to warm from day 1. Not an abundance of energy. More what people would call "normal". He made life very easy when I was at the end of my pregnancy last summer during that month-long heat wave with no a/c. He just sat in one part of the room, perfectly content to play with his animals or his guys and watch movies, sometimes wanting me to play, too. I was able to research and socially connect via Internet, with 2 fans pointed at me, spraying myself with cold water to keep from overheating. More often than not we went to the pool after 2 when the sun wouldn't fry my poor Scottish skin off my body :)) My oldest was out playing with her friends. She NEVER could have stuck that out indoors. She was an outdoor child from day 1, and sometimes it was a challenge for this overweight underenergized mama. I managed well enough, but no way could I keep up with her now, so thank goodness she is old enough to trapse through parks with friends and not needing me to tag along anymore :)) OH, we got creative to help her use up her energy!! My mom and I would go to the beach and let her run as far as she could go then run back to us, as we walked, and repeat it over and over :) It was fun :))

So, back to my son. He has a new baby sister, and I see him, in thelast week or so, exhibiting some "hyper" type behaviors when he is feeling the need for attention. Interesting... Makes me think back on my own childhood. My "hyperness" started around age 6, if I remember correctly, when I got younger siblings. Then, for the past 2 days, my son has been consuming Spiderman and Hulk popsicles like they are going out of style, and they make him very excited and have lots of energy, and he runs and jumps and is insatiably happy and can't be asked to slow down or do it away from the baby, and he leaps into my arms and the old me wants to snap at him for possibly hurting us but I look into his face and see the glee, the joy, the enjoyment, and I know that this is what he wants and it makes him feel good and he wants his fill of energy and fun and laughs and play. And I am overflowing with love and happiness for him. And I remember the glee my daughter felt running circles in this library entryway one time, how she seemed to perpetuate her own energy, and I drown out the faces and opinions of the people around, the people with such differing opinions of what children "should" be like and what the purpose of childhood is and who the world should be accomodating. All I see is glee and joyful abandon, and how could I devalue it by calling it "hyper" with all it's negative connotations? That is sooooooo not what it is. It is pure, unadulterated energy flavored with glee :))