Food

Part of this journey is trusting that kids will pick foods that meet their needs, too, trusting that if their internal compass and self-preservation is left intact, they will pick foods that they feeling nourishing their bodies and souls (or somehow meeting their needs), especially if their internal compass isn't all muddled with our issues about food and junk and what is "healthy". I have seen some amazing things with my kids, things I am proud (and envious) that my kids have learned about their own eating. For example, my son will taste each of his Halloween candies but has no interest in finishing them or stuffing down as many as he can -- he just tastes and moves on. He doesn't horde them, stuff himself until he is sick, or not share. My daughter has learned that she doesn't feel good when she starts off the day with something sweet. I, personally, have just started to really untangle my relationship with food, so that I can understand how it makes my body feel, not just my emotions. It has been an amazing journey that I will share soon :) I get flack from traditionally-approaching loved ones, who believe (well-meaningly) that my kids eat too much "junk", and it is true that my children eat more sweets than I did and often more than I *think* I should be comfortable with (except that my trust of them overpowers that fear, and I don't trust my own sensors of what is the "normal" amount), and then I start thinking..... Yes, my kids love sweets, but they are also some of the few kids who rank salads up there with dessert, who scream with excitement over spinach and broccoli and other such veggies. I must be doing something right, even by traditional standards.

I am still learning a lot in this area, still very sensitive to the wonderful moments and experiences we have in this area. I have recently been introduced to the concept that when we tell our kids that they need to eat their broccoli before they can have ice-cream, not only are we putting ice-cream on a pedastool that keeps us wanting more, but we are also villianizing poor broccoli. I have pretty-much internalized the idea that no "junk" foods are "bad" if we are enjoying them, and now I am starting to really get that no "unjunk" foods have to be "less desirable", either :)

Last night, my daughter had a big container of her favorite ice-cream, and after about 4 bites, she put it up in favor of a spinach and feta cheese organic pocket-thingy -- and this is a child who was traditionally "fed" for almost 10 years. For breakfast this morning, my son (who knows he can have anything, and who knows we had ice-cream and popcicles in the freezer) wanted an orange. My son has never had food restrictions. I love seeing how this food thing unfolds.

As for myself, I recently wrote this elsewhere:

I am overweight. I started to eat a lot when I was about
10 for lots of reasons. However, I could have turned to anything out of
boredom, so I feel there is a reason I turned to food. So I dig
deeper and try to connect with how I feel before I turn to food and
during and after. I am trying to heal something, to feel full and
heavy and sturdy and other such things. Eating has been my healing,
but I was so disconnected from allowing it to heal me and me get my
fill and learn from it, because my focus was on how bad it is, how I
shouldn't be doing it, how it could lead to x, y, z. Since I started
loving my eating regardless and trusting that I turned to it to heal,
I have been listening to my process and been truly healing. Now, I
guess I'm losing weight (people have been telling me), but all I do is
eat whatever I want whenever I want it and enjoy it and because I don't
have all those issues about what is "good" or "bad" for me, I can
really listen to my body and I don't want some things anymore or
nearly as much. And, you know, being fat is not so bad. It doesn't
automatically mean I am unhealthy -- in fact, doctors are regularly
surprised by how "normal" my blood pressure is and such. Which always
gets me wondering what "healthy" is anyway -- is it blood pressure,
cholesterol, stress, happiness, exercise, etc.? It is much more
complicated than just a person's physique or weight. It seems
complications create an illusion that distracts me from my path, and I
am learning to realllllllly trust that my body and my path are
attracted to things to create balance in my life, and if I let them
create balance, I learn my next step soooooo much faster.
I wanted to share a few more things about this. Firstly, studies that used to link weight to health are now finding that weight has less to do with health than was originally presumed. They found things like yo-yo weights are what are hard on hearts, and they found that people who are bigger in the hips than in the belly (regardless of how big) are not as at-risk for some weight-related ailments. What else are they going to find in the future? What are we going to believe and therefore create in our health?

I also wanted to share that I am enjoying this journey of figuring this out for myself, because I am learning so much about my own rhythms and such. I have learned that I am naturally more attracted to raw foods and light meals in the summer, and more cooked foods and heavy meals in the winter. I have tried switching meals up in the different seasons (like stocking the fruit bowl during fall or winter), and the foods just rot, or I force myself to eat it, not enjoying myself.

Which brings me to another topic... In a group that I am in, a person who has a masters degree in nutrition was sharing some insights she learned about food; basically, she came to the conclusion that the most important thing is following your bliss and eating what feels right to you, not what an "expert" says. She also shared about some research done that proves that people do not get the nutrition available when they eat something they do not enjoy -- that joy helps us get the most nutrition out of something. So, all those times we were forced to eat our broccoli "for our nutrition's sake"... I believe very strongly that energy transforms "facts", and food is definately no exception. We have been trained to think of food as one simple thing: nutrients in our body, but it is so much more than that. There are layers of meaning involved in food, from memories to taste to attraction for emotional reasons to the environmental aspect of it. We want to eat local organic whole foods, and sometimes those can be healthier, but what about the emotional aspects that may hinder that? What of the closest organic foods are miles away and you have no car so shop at the corner store? Is the stress of not eating organic good for you? Or would it be better to accept that this is nourishing you the best that it can, and so you enjoy yourself? Can't you see how that is better? What about if you have a limited amount of money and can purchase half the amount of food if it is organic than if it is laden with preservatives, but you can eat for 2 weeks instead of 1 -- which is better? I know it isn't that simple (one can start a garden, if money is an issue, etc. -- lots of creativity), but I hope you get my point about enjoying the most of what is available to you. If you love it, it is better than forcing down something you hate, right? And who says that eating for emotional reasons is bad or wrong? Personally, I think everything meets various needs, and food is not just physical. For me, once I can untangle my emotional complexities involved with my eating, I am able to eat for physical reasons (how it leaves me feeling, physically and emotionally). It's not just about eating whatever I want (even though I do) -- it's about be ABLE to listen to my body about food, and it is about emotionally maturing concerning food so that it is less about eating those foods denied me and put up on pedastools as it is about being in-tune with my whole self and so feeling how some foods drag me down emotionally and some lift me up (and sometimes I want either one of those). Once again, trusting my own internal compass, trusting that if I am attracted to something, I must need it on some level, so allowing it to flow through me so I can move on...

Alright, I think that is it for now :)