Found this on thejoyofparenting.ning.com, posted by a mama named Eva:
Having a baby moon is easy. You stay in bed, keep your pyjamas or nightie on, or better still stay naked (except for your pants as you’ll need something to hold you massive maternity pads in place!) and have lots and lots of skin to skin contact with your baby. In cultures where a baby moon is common practice, the mother is looked after by her mother and other friends, she is fed and watered and massaged as she has important work to do; feed and getting to know her baby. It is a once in a lifetime time for mum and baby and sets the foundation for their life together
In western cultures the idea of a baby moon unfortunately isn’t regarded with as much reverence. However there are links that suggest that not taking time out after having a baby to do this can lead to post natal depression, exhaustion, illness, and of course not being able to establish breastfeeding sucessfuly.
Why cut yourself off from everyone?
Immidiately after birth your adrenalin levels will be very high (adrenalin is neccessary in the 2nd stage for the fetus ejection reflex to happen). On around the third day after birth your adrelanin dips – usually coinciding with your milk coming in. Often known as the ‘baby blues’ you can get very weepy, tired and defensive. So think again about spending the first couple of days inviting all your mates round to wet the baby’s head because by day 3 you will want to crawl into a hole if you haven’t rested and taken it easy. It’s a classic come down affect and one you should be prepared for.
If you have had a natural delivery your oxytocin levels will be at an all time high, giving you a ‘loved up’ feeling towards your new baby. It’s a very special time where you and your baby need to be inseperable. If you haven’t had a natural delivery it is even more important to stay close as separation will indicate to your body that the baby has not survived and therefore milk production and bonding will not take place as it should. The smell of your baby’s vernix and it’s natural desire to nurse will indicate that all is well and milk production and bonding can continue as planned. All this is not a concious decision by your body – at this point your subconcious, innate sense of what to do when your baby is born kicks in. Call it hormones, call it gentic, it just is, mess with it at your peril! What you can be concious about is maintaining the correct conditions for these natural instincts to run their course. Other people with their smells and sounds just get in the way and can actually do damage. Your natural scent is what baby will imprint into it’s mind, so the more they can smell you and not be confused by Aunty Jeans Channel No 5 the better.
It’s interesting to observe just how many people want to see a newborn baby. There is something magical about the first week after birth. Oxytocin the ‘love’ hormone is at an all time high and leaves you feeling very blissed out and incredibly protective towards your baby. You’ll feel like you’ve fallen in love with him/her and everyone else, including your partner falls way down the list. This energy is what peole want to have a part of. They aren’t aware of it conciously, but their subconcious wants to be around it, experience and feel it. For women who have had babies they want to remember it. It’s not your baby and you’s job to give them that rush of feel goodness.
Another thing that often happens, is that people who are expecting their 2nd baby bring round thier first child to see how that child is around a newborn baby. They use your baby as a guinea pig to test the waters. Remeber guests need to be comng for YOUR beneifit NOT theirs.
Breastfeeding is a learning experience for both you and the baby. When you first start you’ll want to sit up straight, get cushions under you and probably not want to be watched by everyone. A few months in you’ll be able to feed anywhere, lying down, on the bus or in the bath (to name a few places). It’s important to not feel watched and judged when you are new to breastfeeding, especially if the person watching is themselves embarressed as you will pick up on that and feel anxious (Father in laws are a classic example!)
So how can you set up your home to alow you to have a baby moon?
Prepare to be home by:
■Preparing meals in advance (when you are pregnant) and freezing them
■Shopping for easy to cook meals like Jacket Potatoes and pasta, things that can just go in the overn or ready meals. Make sure you have lots of healthy snacks available; breastfeeding requires more calories than growing a baby.
■Getting a cleaner for a while (I know of someone who had a cleaner as a new baby present from their mum)
■Tell people that you are planning this, (use the reasons above) to prepare them
■Ask anyone you don’t need to see to stay away for a while (see email letter below)
■Watch this clip from Caroline Flint, Independent Midwife Birthwise DVD on why it’s important
Message or email to your friends I’ve writen an email that if I would write to friends had I known better 12 years ago. It’s just as, if not more important that a birth plan. Please do not worry what people think of you for making the requests– whatever you do people will have a comment so you may as well do what pleases you as you’re the one who has to live with the consequences.
Imagine if all parents made these reqeusts? In a very short time it would become the norm in our culture as it is in so many others.
“James and I are very pleased to announce thebirth of our beautiful daughter. She was born on Christmas Eve at 8 minutes to 2 in the afternoon. The labour unfortunately didn’t go to plan and we ended up in St Micheals (we had planned a home birth). (You can go into as much detail as you want!) We’re home now and are in awe of her and also a little overwhlemed by it all. It’s the first time we are doing this for all 3 of us. My mum is coming over in a few days to look after us and allow us to have some time to bond and make sure that breastfeeding gets establised as that’s really important to us. As is getting sleep and recovering from the birth! We have uploaded some photos here (link to your profile page on ‘The Joy of Parenting’ ) so you can see here.
Thanks for all your love and support in the weeks leading up to her birth and I expect you are looking forward to meeting her but for the moment we’d like to stay home getting to know Maya and would like to ask that you refrained from visiting us for the first month (or write a date when you will want them to come), that is unless you fancied coming over with food, to do some cleaning or washing! Please don’t be offended, it’s just that we would rather prevent problems from happening in the first place so hope you understand. If you do come I’ll probably be in bed with her as I plan to stay there for at least x weeks which is what midwives say is neccessary to allow bonding and breastfeeding. Although I must say I am already feeling like a protective she lion towards her!”
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