April 2010:
Maybe it would help to stop using words like "negative behavior" and just see a kid who is trying (and maybe having a hard time) to communicate something (he might not even understand) that's coming out in a way that you're not understanding. When is it really wrong to express oneself? Instead of teaching him that "acting like this is bad" teach him that "I'd love to help you learn how to get what you want in life" By labeling things as "bad behavior" and "good behavior" and then choosing to allow one while disallowing the other, we're not REALLY teaching our kids "how to behave correctly," we're teaching them that the things they have a hardest time expressing are unacceptable and that we're not going to help them get what they want. Alternatively, embrace that which your child is most passionate about and accept whatever form of expression he's using. When the underlying need is met, the "bad behavior" goes away in favor of A- a need that's met and no longer needed or B- the ability to communicate better & meet the need without pissing people off.
Read this on Dayna's list -- love it!!!
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