Black & White

I read this in an RU group that I am in, and I found it very thought-provoking, so I wanted to share it here and talk a bit about it. 

Growing up in a abusive/fear-filled household leads to definitions that are black and white, this or that. It's hard to see the abstract because the abstract will get you a ton of hurt! You gotta know exactly where to step and where not to step.

It makes me wonder how big of an impact past generations of discipline has on current and future generations' creative living or the perceptions of it. It has been some hard work for me to get past that "black or white" way of seeing things, and I still work on it, and I don't think I came from an abusive household, but my mom did and so I think I inherited some of that strictness from and through her. For the record, my mom did an amazing job surpassing the parenting she was given. Is it possible to transcend it 100%? Unlikely. My mom did so much, though, and I know my kids will still have stuff to undo in their lives, but isn't that what life is about? Living and learning and repeating the cycle indefinately :))

Anyway, back on topic :)) So, creative living is seeing life for all the gray areas in between and picking what is right for you and for the moment. Instead of saying "this or that", you can see all the millions of options that can happen too or instead. It is fun and exciting and really makes life an adventure where everyone can get their needs met, and it usually doesn't require sacrifice or compromise, because all can get their needs met fully, not partially or not at all. It just depends on how creative all parties can be. I have found that my kids are better at finding creative ideas and solutions (because of my own socialized limitations and rigidness at times), and it is quite amazing to watch my kids figure things out -- often without even a word from me. In fact, I give up before they do -- I have learned that when I am ready to say "Nevermind, this isn't going to work" to give my kids more time, because they find a way to both feel good about things. It is SO amazing to watch -- especially because they are 11 years old and 3 years old! Even my 3-year-old son comes up with great ideas to help his baby sister if she is crying or if she wants something he is playing with or whatever. Kids never cease to amaze me. They are constantly underrated in our society. Older generations (including myself) are limited by their own experiences, but my kids have all the stuff I changed for them and my old stuff feels so wrong to them. I know when they are bucking my way of handling something, I am out of alignment with my new path. My kids know what feels right to them. I love growing to trust them more and more. This blog is starting to remind me of a post I've been wanting to share -- that I will share now :))